hi just saw your message

Well doctor told me I had glaucoma and lost some side vision pressure was over 20 (I was told up to 20 as normal)

She sent me to a specialist who ran a bunch of test. According to him I do not have glaucoma or retinopathy both of which I was told I had in past--two doctors told me glaucoma

My pressure was 17 and 18 that day but he ran several tests and said do not need to come back for a year.

He also said I would not go blind (my mom did) as they have treatments

I was very happy about this.

Two days later I found a large lump in my breast. I had a history of Breast Cancer in 1992 and recurred 1995 and had been cancer free since.

Dr after looking on ultrasound (and mammogram) told me when I pressed her that it "felt and looked like we are dealing with a malignancy" I did not think she would say that unless she was very certain as usually they say well lt's see what the biopsy said it might be something else.

she rules out other things I asked like could it be a cyst or this or that.

I had a biopsy on two lumps today.

she thinks it is a new cancer than previous and that a hard smaller lump marble sized at incision site may not be scar tissue like thy said before so she took two samples from each lump..she did say thank god that she did not see anything in lymph nodes.

will not know staging, what kind it is if she is right and the grade to see if slower growth or more aggressive.

since I had radiation I cannot have it again and she said mastectomy is the treatment which I do not feel I can do. I had some ideas but my kids are not happy with my ideas and what me to do whatever the doctor says and I understand that but I guess I will wait till Friday and see what I am dealing with.

I never dreamed I would have cancer again and she offered so little hope it was anything else, I am dreading the day as right now I still have a little hope that maybe it is not cancer but I think it will be but am not ready to accept that...I feel I am in a daze or denial or something.

I feel my reluctance to not do mastectomy may cost me my life but I just emotionally cannot do it unless it was super aggressive.

I had been planning to do a 75 day juice fast including The Master Cleanse and the grape cure for two weeks after that anyway and started day one of juice fasting today actually and will try to get the needed supplies togehter once I know what I am dealing with.

to me I can clearly feel it when lying don and it appears much larger than she said the ultrasound measured so I am not sure..she said today sometimes the tissue around it swells and feel hard but this seems continuous so I probably will get a second pinion.

It's very hard.