Hello friends,

My name is a number 145210. I have empirical evidence in my hands of old men being crusty and dateless. Everyone knows that crusty and old means it's often difficult to obtain dates. It becomes even more difficult when married for dates to be found. I postulate that crusty old men filled with crust, weighing approximately 40 pounds, or 18 kilograms, in their small and large intestines are at the root of their date problems. The fecal matter load, in turn, creates an environment in the blood that is toxic. The toxicity suffered by crusty old men leads to multi-colored phlem that irritates the esophageal airway, forcing crusty old me to cough through their gullets. Potential dates recognize the old men clear their gullets, assume it's blood toxicity from approximately 40 pounds of fecal matter in their intestines, run analyses on the crustiness level of their excrement, and determine that the majority of old men are crusty using the latest near infrared spectrometry to accurately determine fecal crustaceous level proven by my empirical evidence in hand. Samples of crust available upon request.