So many people stumble through life without ever giving a thought to their own demise. The people below all had time to "think" about their lives yet many others never get that opportunity because life is often taken away quickly.
As the last line in the story says - happiness is a choice. If you're not happy - that's your own personal choice. Another biggie is trying to live your life to please others. It doesn't work. Nobody can please others. All of us can only please ourselves.
Lastly, each of us is an bright eternal spark of light. We are all spirit learning about life in this reality. Death is merely a transition - and an easy one at that.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bronnie-ware/top-5-regrets-of-the-dyin_b_122096...
Top 5 Regrets of the Dying
Posted: 1/21/12 06:12 PM ET
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last 3 to 12 weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
If you are evolved while living, you will die evolved. If you "suffer" while alive, you may well suffer through dying.
"You didn't come here to make your father happy. You didn't come here to make your mother happy. You came here to make YOU happy" are just some of the words I heard in a three day seminar titled "New Beginnings" at Esalen/Big Sur about twenty years ago presented by an Auschwitz survivor. One of the most beautiful spirits that I have ever encountered on this visit to the planet was during that small seminar presented by Edith Eva Egar (http://dreee.com/history.html) who was found at age sixteen by an American G. I. in a pile of dead bodies in 1945 where she could only wave a hand, couldn't even stand or otherwise move.
As a survivor of significant sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by my father - and mother, I did my damndest to make them happy which of course is an impossible task. I went on for many years trying to make another person happy in a long-term marriage and of course that ended in failure.
One other thing. As a small child when my mother was trying to suffocate me to terminate my few months old life (she would eventually tell me as a teen that "..you are the cause of all of my problems) I was taken as spirit to the edge of the earthly plane where there exists a deep chasm, a narrow band beyond which are zillions of bright light angelic entities guarding this earth plane reality. At the edge of that chasm a voice from beyond its depths told me in a clear voice "No one's to blame, everyone's the same" after which I returned to the bedroom where my mother ended her quest to destroy my body, that time at least.
So about thirty five years ago after much searching for me I took up a meditation that activates my chakras and energy systems and began looking within - all the pluses and all the minuses. It has been through this search and inner communication with the god within that all of us have that I learned that I and everyone else on the planet are in fact the same. Exactly as I'd been told as a small child by the angelic entities who are actually among us and helping us on our way. Every newly born AIDS baby, every murderer, tyrant, saint, or homeless person - we are all the same. Without the angelic entities I would not be here. I have been in combat, an air disaster, survived cancer and I ain't finished yet.
Anyone who tries to please others as their goal is bound for utter failure. In my inner quest I have lost friends but I have added others who are much more valuable and who are my real friends. Yes, I do help and assist others but in doing so my goal is to assist myself while helping them.
Rudi - I don't completely agree with you all the time but what you write is the truest and most beautiful reality that gets posted on these nutty Cure Zone boards.