Haha. You and I are very different. I could afford to lay in bed 2 weeks ago. Lived like a hermit because of BDD. But now I'm off to the Philippines to study abroad, live on my own, and become independent. Things are happening really fast since my fast.
I guess for me, having a low body fat, gave a me a different experience during the fast. I was lucid dreaming, days seemed like months, super extra sensory, first time I read so much and absorbed the material. Usually, I half-*** things, but I was crazy tireless in my mind but my body couldn't keep up if you know what I mean. Before the fast I was lazy, unmotivated, unhealthy, had no goals. Now I'm taking a 180 degree turn from those things.
Yeah being vegan is hard if you don't know how to make food and limit your options. Before fast, I only ate soy, pasta, and other crap. But now I love to eat and try all vegetables and fruits. Man I feel so energized in my day. I don't feel sleepy, no brain dog, forgetfulness. I keep finding new things to do.
The reason why I am vegan is because I am spiritual and I believe I owe a lot of karmic debt to the universe from eating a mostly meat diet and the stuff I've done in my past. I don't follow any religion, but I take the best wisdoms from those I've learned.
The only times where I'm gained muscle were in high school when I was in the track team. They beat us hard. But we got whipped. Meat made it easier for me to gain lean muscle. Damn I had strong legs/thighs back then. After high school, took lots of drugs. Turned vegetarian thinking it would help my situation. Still ate crap and I ate/drank lots of soy (poison). 2 summers ago, went to the gym, bulked up. Noticed I have a wide chest/back, and grew my arms. Creatine helped, but once I got off (broke my ankle jumping a flight of stairs) the gym and creatine, my muscles diminished. Don't wanna take creatine again though. Lots of
Sugar and crap I wouldn't eat anyways. Then I was in one of the best shotokan karate dojos in NYC. My teacher is a world champion and such and he's only 27,28. Felt good doing his exercises and katas. I had a clearer mind and felt energized after each workout. Felt stronger. Once my BDD got wild, I stopped attending. A year later I fasted and now I'm here. My frame is still there just diminished. I know once I start exercising again, I'm going to get bigger even more so then previous times. There are people on low calorie all green veggie diets that gain lean muscle like crazy. I can't eat all green. I need variety. But I believe I can gain my weight and gain muscle once I'm done with refeeding.
You know your body, so keep doing what you think is best for you.
Good luck/God bless,
Blaise