Wow today I cried for the first time it seems in 7 years I am a 32 year old mother of 3 children and I have tried not to show any emotion,pain despite everything that seems to be going wrong in my life I really needed to vent so I may jump from subject to subject I have so much on my mind and I feel no one to vent to my childrens father was sent to prison almost 7 years ago so I have been doing the best I can to raise three children on my own wow I cannot stop crying I want the best for my children and I have been strong for so long so why now does it seem like I just cant take anymore stress,sick of being without and seeing my 3 children suffering I had to leave college shy of 6 months of having my degree because the financial burden was so overwhelming that I could not continue Im extremely depressed about that It has been a month since I left college to find work to support my children wow Im starting to feel better already it was so much I wanted to write and I thought I would be able to write but I feel so much better now I guess I just needed to vent or at least write my feelings down maybe i should start a journal.I feel like an emotional roller coaster well I guess I will continue since my laptop is freezing up anyway my children are 13,11,8 three boys and I have been a single mom for 13 years I say 13 years because although I was with their father for 6 years I supported my children by myself he was no help at all I had no one to lean on my parents were both drug addicts so I have been on my own since I was 15 It has just been so hard not having any emotional support from a parent and trying to pretend happy is tearing me apart I went through a whole year of college where I was not the typical student in my field of study all the other students in my field of study seem to have the perfect life married,happy supportive husband,financially stable,then you have me single mom 3 kids no support system,hardly any money to live off of I put on a smiley face for a whole year of college I have been strong and always have been the type to hold my feelings in but tonight Im an emotional roller coaster.Whenever I would ace an exam or pass a class I remember one time I called my mom up which I have no relationship with and told her how I did on my exam it was just like change the subject she did not care that hurt me so bad but I showed no emotion.wow maybe my life is just really screwed up and I think Im going to go see a counsler because I have so much to say and get off my chest I just really appreciate this site I feel so much better even if noone ever reads this post I at least got to vent and it feels so much better I know it might not make since to you thats because Im thinking alot faster than I can type I am not "crazy" and I believe I am a great mother not perfect but I try my best to be a great mother to my children. well goodnight Im going to get some rest thanks for listening



singleparentnohio