You write:

the older I get, the more ashamed I feel about being a virgin

OMG! You're 17! You're still young! Why on earth would you feel ashamed to be a virgin? Are your so-called friends giving you a hard time about it and putting the idea into your head that being a virgin is a bad thing? If so, you need better friends!

You also write:

I'm still in love with my ex. he doesn't feel the same way about me but he said that if I ever wanted to meet him just for sex, he would meet me in a heartbeat.. what should I do? I mean, I know I shouldn't.. but I still love him.. and a part of me hopes that if we would do it, he would love me again.

And you also write:

I know that if I just did it with someone who I didn't love, it would make me feel disappointed and useless..

Do you detect a theme here? I do---and that is that deep down you know it wouldn't feel right to you to get back together with your ex "just for sex". Also, it wouldn't feel right to you to have sex with someone you didn't love.

So...just why do you feel ashamed for being a virgin when clearly you are doing the right thing by saving yourself for someone you love? Don't let peer pressure dictate when you should have sex! If you do that, you will regret it.

To answer your other questions --- Generally speaking, it takes a lot longer for a woman to come than it does for a man. So if a man comes too quickly, a woman misses out on having an orgasm. You didn't ask but despite what movies and romance novels say, it's not uncommon for a woman to have sex and not come.

Stop feeling ashamed about being a virgin. Instead, feel proud of yourself for not giving into your ex or giving into peer pressure!

While there are different attitudes amongst different cultures and individuals, most guys want to have sex with many different girls, then marry a virgin.