Are We Just Thorns to the Earth or Her Roses?

Nature's very complex systems are being disrupted by something that man has started but he is finding he can not stop. In my NDE, I witnessed a light that will heal the world but I believe it will only come if there are those who will see beyond the ongoing doom in the Gulf of Mexico that appears to be capable of destroying the world. The President may resort to nuclear bombs and the oil companies to technological wonders in an attempt fix the problem they have started but every wounded and bleeding person should first know that the first thing we must do is to remain calm in spite of what we see... Also, once the bleeding is stopped, Joy heals...

We have foresaken the beautiful physical world but we can replace our calous attitudes and temper our violence against the earth... therefore giving her a chance to rest and... We can oppose the aggresive forces within us that demand the earth yield us her life's blood... and re-align ourselve with the soul of the earth... Failing this, the earth may resort to flailing at us indiscriminately like a dog scratches at fleas... This is not a time to be agitating the earth but rather a time to be coaxing her into believing we are her favorite roses in her rose garden and the prick she just received from the thorn we just inflicted on her is not a good reason to destroy her garden... I hope for our sake that she will still see mankind as her children too...


I am temporarily inland, over 300 miles from the coast now to lick my wounds, but 300 miles way may not be enough... I have back up plans to gather as many of my scattered children as I can and move as far away as Southern California and closer to New Mexico, Prescot Arizona, or I could even crawl and slink to my estranged biological father's home in Lubbock, Texas.

But, what are dreams for?

I went to sleep with the thought of one of my four daughters, who is going to the University right on the water... My dreams moved on to two more of my daughters and a grandson who are living in low lying areas... not too far from the coast... then on to my little one who is living with her mother in Austin, Texas... and three stepsons all living in Austin as well. I also have a lot of family in Austin, Texas, that have been there for me my whole life, and still I see that this darkness in my dreams may overwhelm and smother all of these souls like the oil that is traveling along the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico right now... I could just attempt to convince as may of them to flee as possible, like Lot from Sodom and Gemmorah or I could stand in the gap, face of the torrent and calm the seas. This is what haunts my dreams...

The stingrays, dolphins and sharks are all moving in closer to shore, attempting to escape what is visibly killing the many millions of smaller fish. Some of these fish are able to get out of harms way but some are not... Over 300 dolphins and now a whale are dead though... I may be fool to stay.... but for now, stay I must. I am feeling quite a bit better, even though I feel some mild chest pains, a metalic taste in my mouth and burning eyes from the ill wind I breathed in last week.

I am heading back in next week and going back to work. I will take time and go to the beach to do what my spirit asks me to do... It is the least I can do. There are two things struggling inside me and both want to direct my actions. There is one part that needs me to be healed and another that is warning me to flee to save my own life.

The first time I attempted to use my hands to lay hands on myself was just yesterday. I visualized then held within my hands an almost transparant blue ballon that I could feel... it was a blue ball of light and a type of static electricity sprang from it and ran through my hands. My relflex, unfortunately, was to recoil from the sensation. In several proceeding attempts, I still get the visualizations of the translucent blue ball but no electricity.


Should I attempt use this energy to heal myself? I keep feeling I need to heal what caused this this ill wind that has attacked me from the Gulf of Mexico but these conflicting thoughts struggle inside me. There is very mild and even tiny voice telling me this pain in my lungs is just a warning to leave. There is another voice telling me it is a betrayal of my deeper responsibility to my family, those who I am responsible for profesionally, my community and the world to abandon the coast. I normally listen to that quiet still voice. The stakes are high.

I was not designed to bail out on my responsibilities. I am fighting it but my whole self says it needs to stay and prevent as much loss of life as possible and that if something bad occurs... to use whatever resouces spiritual , mental and physical I have to reverse the course of events that appear to be unfolding outside my window...


By standing in the gap, putting myself in the teeth of the dragon, I may be more useful than otherwise... and still ...even my angels don't want me to stay as they see a future that does not include healing this wound in the earth... but in my NDE, I have seen a future not tied to time...where the earth is healed... where light flows across the deep first and then heals the land... and if I can just turn to this translucent ball of blue light in front of me and spill out its healing on the Gulf to heal her first... and not be afraid... then this seems a better use of healing hands... Juxtaposed over this thought is the thought of primitive minds throwing their chidren into the volcano... attempting to make a sacrifice to the gods to appease their lust for blood...


I am very conflicted as to what to do next but as soon as I am feeling a bit better, I am going back to the coast. I am not sure if I will stay or flee... but I do not like feeling sick...





May joy fill each of you today and may your joy spread throughout the earth


rudi