I just watched an absolutely awful movie. It was trashy,it was sleezy and it had a happy ending. Although there was nothing better to watch on what I did see was a movie about how bad fat women feel being rejected and unloved.

It was about people who love to eat and hate theirself because they can't stop. Always knowing that they have no chance for happiness in this life because of their shape. Funny, they meet these African men who love fat women and yes in the end she learns to love who she is not what everyone wants her to be.

So I had to smile at life. It is not your size or your hair, it is all about being happy with who you are. Funny I spend my life trying to fit into a mold and pleasing others when It is me who I have to please really.

As I go thru life I find that I cannot be like everyone wants me to be and I bleed when cut. I spend many hours on the computer writing about many subjects but as I think about my illness and how my life could be short, I wonder really what would make me happy and free. I have to say for me, I want to quit trying to please you and start pleasing me.

Not for sure at this point how to do that really. But if I have to leave you with any advice today I must say. Quit trying to please the world and do something crazy for me today.

Sara