OMG, so I'm stuck in the huge East Coast snow storm with my husband. He's so sweet today, holding me and telling me how much he loves me. He's really feeling sentimental today but I don't return it with the same warmth because of what he doesn't know: I'm sexually frustrated this weekend. Most of the time it lays dormant but this weekend my hormones were jumping and I can't score for the life of me. I am just feeling the need to vent my frustrations.

(For a detailed account of our sexual life & issues, see //www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1549509#i)


Ugh. Here's how bad it's gotten. I was semi-awake one morning early and super horney and dozed and dreamt about sex. You ever have that happen? It's where I'm so sleepy I don't wake up but I dream about doing something about it. I have dreamt about masturbating to make the horniness go away before. In this dream I tried to initiate with my husband and got turned down. I'm even getting turned down in my dreams! Then the next day in real life I made a suggestion and got instantly shot down.

I used to fantasize about him almost every time I masturbated but now I can't because the fantasy ends in rejection! That's how bad it is. I have now power over when we have sex. I am the man in this relationship - when it comes to sex anyway. So I'm sexually frustrated, and I feel a little distance when I wish that I could have this as part of my life but I can't.

The marriage is so good that I would never give it up to get sex - sex isn't even very good when there's no connection. But I wish I could have both.

Another fun tidbit: I've never been into toys. They don't appeal to me. But now I'm thinking I'm going to have to experiment with something because I need to do something for myself!