It takes two to be in a codependent
relationship. If your friend would
become more assertive, then he can
unhook from his mother. Obviously he
moved away so physically she does not
"have his back", but emotionally, she
has him hook, line and sinker. It is
not too late for him to wean himself.
If need be, he might consider getting
counseling to help him, and it would
be great to get counseling for his
mother to also help her stop fixating
and depending on him for her emotional
and physical needs.

His mother will never let go until he
does. At least he is considering it
since he has obviously reached the
end of his rope. Hopefully he can make
this transition since without completing
this "challenge" he will remain tied
to his mother until she passes. Since
it has been decades now, I would imagine
it is best to get help to let go. It
will probably bring up a lot of emotions
too so he should be prepared to feel
the range of anger to grief as he
renegotiates his relationship with his
mother.

Tough love~~!

Here is a link to info which can help
shift the relationship with himself
and his mother~~

http://www.nmha.org/go/codependency

Encourage your friend to educate himself
too so he has a better understanding of
the dynamics of the dysfunction he and
his mother have been experiencing~~

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm

http://www.recovery-man.com/coda/coda_recovery.htm

http://www.hopelinks.net/codependency.html


Googling "codependency" will yield many
many more links~~

best wishes,
Zoe

-_-