This is mostly for myself, because I do not dare to write into a file that my husband might find (we both have administrator-level accounts on all of our home computers / laptops). Comments and encouragement are of course very welcome.

First a quick note to Kathryn101:

Please be careful of the advice you give, if you have zero experience of alcohol. For people who are genetically susceptible to alcohol addiction, alcohol is something quite powerful and very dangerous. Genetic susceptibility is highly likely here: my husband's father is an alcoholic - I or our children have never met him sober, except when he was in the hospital for surgery (thrice) - and every one of my sisters- and brothers-in-law has at one time or another spoken about the "physical" or "animal" pull / force of even one alcoholic drink. They have all said (including my husband earlier) that they need to watch themselves regarding alcohol, and consciously keep limits.

If a person becomes addicted to alcohol, and ends up using a lot of alcohol for a prolonged time, the functioning (biochemistry) of the brain gets profoundly disturbed. As a consequence of these changes, their personality typically changes, and not for the better (aggression, paranoia, impulsive and reckless behavior are typical). Sometimes the changes are reversible with abstinence, sometimes (some of) the brain damage is irreversible. At any rate: once a person has gone so far as to begin to show the behaviors listed below, chances are that they will not come out of it without some profound outside influence - it they will come out of it at all.
-drinking more, yet showing less outer signs of intoxication (heightened tolerance for alcohol)
-drinking alone instead of in a social situation
-hiding their drinking and/or lying about it
-blaming others or outer circumstances for their drinking
-drinking even though they are working (or even at work)
My husband has done all of these (and more) during the last two years. My hopes for him "seeing the light" on his own have vanished, and I don't want his drinking to affect the kids anymore. They are walking on eggshells, too, and it is not good for them.

We are both 40-50 years old, the children are in their pre-teens / teens (10-15).

Things to remember / prioritize:

He has a business trip coming up soon. He will be gone several days (hundreds of miles / kilometers away), so that is my window of opportunity. By the time he comes back, we need to be out of here. For that to be possible, I need to accomplish the following during or before this trip:

-check my assets and free enough of them - done
-organize at home for fast packing - underway
-contact my attorney - today. Some questions:
+how do I disconnect my credit cards from his?
+what can I legally do to protect the kids' assets from him?
+pros and cons of contacting the social services
+how will my being the one who moves out affect things
+should I use the threat of telling his employer about his drinking: risks, possible advantages, etc.
-contact the social services - based on attorney's advice
-engage a good professional to support the kids
-get myself lined up for therapy / support group
-get a P.O. Box address
-get a hard disk for backups (kids own stuff, business files & photos - the rest will just have to be left, there won't be enough time)
-get the kids new mobile phone numbers
-learn how to block phone calls and email
-get myself and the kids a safe place to stay for the next school year (at least until mid-June 2010)
-reserve a moving van (small enough for me to legally drive myself)
-figure out who could help with the moving and how/when to contact them
-get the new place rudimentarily furnished: we need to be able to
+sleep (mattresses, comforters, pillows, sheets, pillowcases)
+eat (pots, pans, cooking utensils, plates, glasses, cutlery at least)
+keep ourselves clean (towels, soap, shampoo, toilet paper etc.)
+keep clean the home (vacuum, brush, dishcloths, chemicals)
+work / study (enough table space, chairs, a place to use the computer, broadband)
+escape reality (TV, DVD-player, books -> bookshelf)

While all this is happening, I also need to:
-keep my business rolling - I really cannot afford to loose customers now! -> get temporary subcontractors ASAP
-prepare written and/or oral statements for (attorney will likely add to this list)
+social services?
+the kids' school
+old neighbors (breaks my heart to leave them, they've been great)
+kids closest friends' parents

I will no doubt come to think of more things - please bear with my use of this space. I really have no other easy-enough way to accomplish this right now.

I'll be back.

AE