I can see by a post you have made on another forum that you are already beating yourself up over this, so there's no need to get into the decision-making process that brought you to this point. However, I hope you will learn from what has happened, then forgive yourself (we are only human), and move on in a positive direction.

The first thing I want to do is share an experience I had 26 years ago, so that maybe you will relax a little bit. I had just been married a few weeks when I broke out in horrible blisters in the perineum area. I was 28 years old and had never seen anything like this - they were painful and quite frightening. I went to a doctor who told me it was the worse case of herpes he had ever seen. I told him that was impossible - I had only been with 2 men in my life and neither one of them had herpes. He then told me that if I was telling the truth (meaning if I really hadn't been messing around) then my husband had to have been with someone in the past 6 weeks who had an active case. He said that was the only way I could have such a severe outbreak. When I got home I called a urologist friend of mine who confirmed everything the doctor had told me. This urologist friend knew my husband, so it didn't help that he was confirming this.

I was 28 years old, living in Florida for the first time where I knew no one, trying to combine 9 children into one family with a husband who was an airline pilot and gone all of the time. Needless to say, I was stressed! Now I had to decide whether to trust him or get another divorce. Of course, this didn't help my stress levels. Along with these stresses - I was embarrassed, frightened, feeling betrayed and swearing to myself that I would never be with another man as long as I lived.

The point to this story is - in spite of the fact that each doctor confirmed it was herpes - it turned out to be a form of smallpox. Apparently, when we get a smallpox vaccine - it lays dormant in the base of our spine, unless we become extremely stressed-out. Then it can erupt by following along the nerves to the surface - this is why it is so painful, because it erupts on the nerve endings.

I suffered through the open wounds, the itching involved with healing and have never had another outbreak. If a smallpox vaccine can cause this kind of problem due to stress, then I'm sure there are myriads of different things that can cause similar problems if we are under enough stress.

Now, if it is herpes, here is what you can do.

1.) Come to peace with where you are in your journey and plan a positive direction to go from here - stress is not your friend - no matter what this is, you need to relax and find some peace and happiness in your life. If necessary, take some stress management classes, enroll in a yoga class, etc.

2.) Using essential oils - "Antiviral essentla oils have generally been very effective in treating herpes lesions and reducing their onset. Oils such as Melaleuca alternifolia, melissa, and rosemary (verbenon) have been successfully used for this purpose by Daniel Penoil, MD in his clinical practice. A study at the University of Buenos Aires found that sandalwood essential oil inhibited the replication of Herpes Simplex Viruses - 1 and - 2."

3.) Nutritionally - eat foods high in Vitamin C and lysine, an amino acid found in yogurt, fish and brewer's yeast. Avoid foods high in arginine such as chocolate, nuts, gelatin and wheat products.

4.) Herbally - use herbs that are anti-viral, such as, olive leaf, oil of oregano, garlic, echinacea, astragalus, goldenseal & I understand that Dragon's Blood is suppose to be a specific against herpes (however, I have not had any personal experience with it).

I hope this helps and gives you a starting point - however, the most important thing you can do right now is RELAX. It either is or it isn't - you can't change it now, so grab hold of where you are - don't place the blame anywhere else (including the person you were with). Placing the blame on someone else only allows you to transfer responsibility for your own actions to someone else and it allows you to hold on to anger and bitterness which are all negative energies which will only make your situation worse. Accept responsibility - forgive yourself and him - then move on.