DeniseinAZ
I wish folks would quit veering off into piss fights on here, because even differing opinions can birth some pretty interesting conversations. There was something that Vance said that got me thinking about the husband being laid off....the roles men and women see themselves in, and why this might escalate her lack of libido (besides the stress portion of it). If we could get some differing male insight to this, it would also be interesting.
I read below where she said she pretended she were someone else during their last tryst, and how this seemed to help things. Badabing-badabang you would think this has all to do with her own body image, but like anything else, that is probably just a piece of it (including hormones, stress, yadda-yoo). What I wondered when I read that was, did it help simply because she felt more desireable, OR because it also changed (in her mind) her husband's role (reason for) desiring her...?
Because it would seem natural to me that most men identify strongly and heavily upon the 'provider' role re: self esteem and self image. If that role is taken away, would he not then be even more interested in his sexual role to re-establish this identity, and would then his desire for intimate relations slightly change into a needier/more demanding desire that the wife begins reading in a subconciously 'burdening' way (hence, less desire, more revulsion for the act).
Once she changed HER role (i.e., I am attractive, desireable, beautiful) then HIS role for wanting sex became much more acceptable and understandable to her, not such a 'burden'.
Thoughts?
PS. it is okay to think it is hormonal, or relationship driven, or what have you, this is the point of differing views and opinions, to broaden and EXPAND the conversation beyond the treadmill of our own thoughts and experience. This could be a very interesting forum if folks would get over themselves.