Irritating overachiever causing fric... 
Maverick494
15 y
4,352
† Cross †
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
You're probably expecting I'll start babbling about how a classmate of mine is frustrating the hell out of me. Well, I won't. Because that irritating overachiever I mentioned in the subject is ME.
Before I tell you about my situation, some background info:
----------------
I'm the kind of girl who starts out slow and hopes to make up for it later. In high school, I didn't do shit and my grades were low. In the country where I live, the educational system consists of levels. Graduating high level in high school lands you in Uni, graduating low level has you working your way up or landing a low paying job. I ended up in a low level. I was 16 when I graduated, and pretty dissappointed in the choice of education left for me. So I started following a medium level course at college and finished that in 4 years. But I wanted to go to Uni eventually, so I enrolled in a high level course. It didn't suit me at all, so I stopped and switched to another course. I'm turning 22 and I've got a 4 year course ahead of me before I'll go to Uni for one year and finish my master.
I'll be 25. To give you some perspective: I could've been in Uni when I was 18 if I had done my best.
-------------
So here I am at college, desperate to prove I deserve to be here. Most of the kids here graduated runner-up high level (barely falls short of Uni) so they should be pretty smart.
Anyway, this course has me doing a lot of group projects. Reports (for lack of better word) on economics, religion, you name it. The school expects us to turn in well researched, well written material. (example: for one chapter of 3 pages on the subject "the flat tax" I've used 10 sources, among them 4 books to support my theories.)
I love doing research and writing reports because I'm an avid reader, hobby writer and I'm proud of my language so I know the grammar rules well.
I'm doing this project with another classmate and I'm supposed to turn it in today. We've have been working on our pieces seperately and communicate through e-mail and during breaks at school. I asked for her piece (supposedly corrected after a teacher looked at it) so I could put it in the final version.
She mailed it to me before signing off and going to bed.
It was full of grammatical errors, errors in spelling and the prose was as if she was talking to 3 year old kiddies. She only used 1 source for the entire piece and I found out she pretty much copied all her text from that one source and edited the prose in to something I weep at.
I rewrote the entire thing during the night. This morning she wanted to see the final version and I told her I edited her piece. She was angry because I hadn't asked for her consent, but I felt it was just so bad our grades (or more importantly: my grade) would suffer for it.
Now I feel like a know-it-all over-achiever for doing it.
This isn't the first time this happened. Last week, I completed a report on religion with 2 other classmates. One supplied a really great piece, the other supplied something I'd throw in the garbage can without a second look. The problem was that I needed this piece in the follow up chapter that I was writing. Ofcourse, before hand I'd done my own research so I wouldn't be dependant on him for my deadline. I got back to him with the piece I was supposed to make and my own version of what he was supposed to do.
Him: "Yeah, but mine counts, right? We're using mine."
Me: "That's fine, but you do realize you've only used 2 internet sources and you were supposed to use atleast 5 sources, among them 3 books?"
Him: "Um, well, no. But it's the content that counts right?"
Then I had to mention that he had misinterpreted the assignment because he'd based his piece on information from a website about the Catholic Church. The community we were researching are Protestant.
Now he's angry with me because his piece has been banned from the report and says I'm a know it all, prissy twit.
I've been doing this course for 2 months and 2 people aren't really happy with me. I have the feeling the rest of the class also thinks I'm an overachiever because I always do my homework and always participate actively during class. To be honest, I don't give a shit if I end up a Maverick (like my username.) It happened before and I guess I'm not a real 'people person.' I'd just hate it if they're right when they say I'm trying too hard.
So, am I? I need a fresh look on this, because I need to complete more group assignments. And I don't want to be the one pointing out mistakes and doing most of the work. I'm not perfect, I don't know everything and I don't want the class to be under the impression that I think I do. But I guess my view on what makes something "good" is very different from theirs. Is it because I'm older? (The ones that supplied the 'bad' pieces are only 18 years old?)
On the one hand I think they should be thanking me for my efforts, on the other hand I know that they should be judged by their own. Looking from their perspective, I can understand that it's frustrating to have a snotty classmate rewrite your piece (which you think is good) because she thinks it's not acceptable. I would hate me too.
Okay, I'll quit babbling now. All mistakes in this ramble are mine ;-) (Don't be too harsh because English isn't my first language.)
More
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... aclays
15 y
4,146
This is a reply to # 1,380,914When it comes to schoolwork, you are your highest priority. Don't feel bad about being active in the class, or for doing your homework on time every time. When I have partners that do a piss poor job, I sometimes will do their work for them too, or at least add what I can to make it passable work. The trick is how you go about doing it (also, I agree - you DON'T want to set yourself up to be the one doing all the work).
Try to think about how you approach people. Do you make them feel uncomfortable? Is there something condescending about your manner? Is there a way you can let people know what needs to be done without singling them out? I've used e-mail in the past, it can be an easy nonconfrontational way to let people know what needs to be done ahead of time.
Learning to network and work with people on projects is one of the most important skills you can learn while in school. Consider it to be the class you have in which you won't receive a grade after a month or two. Once you're out in the real world, your networking abilities will be graded by how much you get paid and how high you rise. At large corporations you can be the smartest person in the world, but if you can't cooperate with other people on projects they won't be able to use you. That's a fact.
More
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Maverick494
15 y
4,241
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
This is a reply to # 1,381,026Thanks for that. I've always been a big yapper (hence the long messages here) and very animated during speech. (A classmate once joked that when I give a presentation, I look like the weather man.) The 2 people I did the assignments with are a bit of the silent kind. Nothing wrong with that, but I can see how someone like me would seem dominant and/or condescending.
Another habit I have (my dad dubs me a 'stalker' because of it) is that I can be occupied with something, yet pick up on what's going on around me. So sometimes when I'm busy typing behind the computer and my classmates are discussing something but can't remember the name, I'll just randomly answer that question, which raises the suspicion I've been listening in to their conversation the entire time. It's not intentional, but I do it anyway.
I think it's time I sort out how best to deal with these two....um 'attributes' of mine and see how I can make them work in my favor instead of having them backfire.
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... mouseclick
15 y
4,220
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
This is a reply to # 1,381,087Well, women seem to be able to multi task better than men. I think some people get intimidated by other peoples intelligence, but that's really stupid I think. I really appreciate brains!
Your friends need to learn to appreciate you. I guess they have their strong points too, though you do seem pretty bright. I don't know how these team things are done with you, but how about trying to share out the skills appropriately to who likes / is best at doing the tasks?
Make the task fun!
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... mouseclick
15 y
4,220
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Maverick494
15 y
4,241
- Re: I don't think there is such thin... mouseclick
15 y
3,926
This is a reply to # 1,380,914
Hi Maverick, I am much older now, but at age 6 I was way ahead for my age, so I was promoted up a class so I was a year ahead and by far the youngest in that class, but still I came first in my class of 35 in every exam up until age 11 when I went to grammar school. A few people hated me, but we weren't required to do group work.
For various reasons (life always has strange twists) I did not go to uni, I went into a job. I had the same problems, people didn't have faith in me, and some were annoyed when I wanted to go out and do a days hard work. I began to show them up as being lazy and I took a lot of stick for it. I guess I was 18 or 19 at the time. At age 21 I was the youngest person to qualify in my country for a legal and technical exam with a 20% first time pass rate, and I appeared in the local newspaper.
Your education system is probably different to the UK and there is not much group work here, or at least there was not in my time. I guess they are trying to promote "team building" and all that BS (yes?). But actually there are problems when you put people of mixed ability together to to a job. I think it is to do with our system, where people have to compete against each other to get on. I guess your classmates see you that way because maybe they are a litte afraid of you because they are worried that you will outshine them? Also they are probably younger, and, well, are just kids.
I guess the answer is to learn diplomacy. There are ways you can change someones work and make out that it was their idea. For example, phone them, put the idea into their head, make it sound really good, then tell them you agree and think it's a great idea, "would you like me to try and rewrite it?" and so on.
Also do you have any kind of mentor? When I did eventually do a degree as a mature student, I had some problems and went to see one, to my surprise she said "Oh yeah, lots of mature students say that". And I thought I was the only one!! Any mentoring service may be able to deal with the issues for your particular circumstances in the best possible way.
For info, I did join British Mensa and there were lots of articles in their magazine about how people who are way ahead of others often go off track and become under achievers because they get bored, and so on. Don't do that yourself. Get bored I mean. Stay a Maverick :) Anyway apart from that info I did not get much out of Mensa. I merely used it as leverage to do a degree as a mature student. It served its purpose.
Now from another angle, I recall a colleague who I used to work with. He did a degree in Economics. He told us a story of how when he started his degree, everyone was asked to say a little about themselves, and what they wanted to get out of the course. You know the stuff. Everyone said something that sounded impressive. When it got to his turn, he said "My name is XXXXX, and I live in London, and I want to get 51 percent". Lol! I guess he was probably older than the other students too!
But in actual fact he was quite materialistic and selfish, and I don't think you are, in fact I suspect far from it. So for you I think a bit of diplomacy, maybe speak to someone to discuss (but I guess you have done that here). You already fully understand the problem, which is half the battle.
Good luck.
- Re: I don't think there is such thin... Maverick494
15 y
4,477
This is a reply to # 1,381,054Hey, thanks for your input. You know exactly what I mean! Yes, I could use a bit of diplomacy. Never been to good at that. Either I'm too direct or I don't say anything to prevent people from getting their feelings hurt. Neither works well.
Y'know, the entire group assignment thing is pretty new to me too. At my previous college they were always promoting independancy. When I finally had a group assignment, it didn't work out because everyone had learned to work seperately, haha.
At my new school they keep empathising how important it is to be able to work together 'as a team' and how useful it'll be in 'the field.' So yes, "teambuilding BS" galore. Not that it's not useful, but I'd just rather do it on my own.
No, we don't really have a mentor (heh, we have to solve our problems independantly, I guess.) Since we'll have to get together again for a new assignment, I'll use the oppertunity to clear the air around us.
But wow, you were the youngest in your country? You must be one smart cookie, mouseclick!
- Re: I don't think there is such thin... mouseclick
15 y
3,971
This is a reply to # 1,381,101Ahhh, I hate these artificial things. When we were diving and we capsized a boat and had to hoist it up a cliff, we just acted naturally. Got a landrover, rope, water from a farmhouse (cos we were all dehydrated) etc. That's REAL team work.
The youngest to pass the exam in my country is not so fantastic. The new 2 part exam had been running for just 2 years and the minimum age for the job was 21. As the fail rate for part 1 was 80%, I just happened to be around 20 when I took it, because I did not go to university until later. I am sure someone must have beaten me in a year or two by stats alone. I used the papers and got the story published just to advance my career.
I quit that job though, in retrospect I can see it was just a vehicle for financial independence.
If you choose a career, choose something that you are passionate about.
- Re: I don't think there is such thin... mouseclick
15 y
3,971
- Re: I don't think there is such thin... Maverick494
15 y
4,477
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Vance MacThamhais
15 y
3,883
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
Mercury Detox
Dental work and fillings, not a problem.
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Maverick494
15 y
3,989
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Vance MacThamhais
15 y
3,943
This is a reply to # 1,381,102Ik hou van Nederland. Ik ben er tweemaal en had een geweldige tijd. Iedereen spreekt goed Engels in Nederland.
De meisjes waren zo vriendelijk om mij daar.
Ik kan niet wachten om terug te gaan
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Vance MacThamhais
15 y
3,943
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... Maverick494
15 y
3,989
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... DeniseinAZ
15 y
3,906
This is a reply to # 1,380,914
Give them a choice. If you come across something that does not have enough sources cited or missed the mark, has spelling errors, etc, talk to the person responsible letting them know what is wrong with the piece and ask them 'if they have time to fix it or would you rather I do it?' Since you have a stake in the grade there is nothing wrong with wanting to turn in the best work you can. Since they were lazy about the assignment to begin with they will no doubt opt out of doing any more work on it and you can blissfully do your thing.
As far as not wanting to get stuck doing the majority of the work, you will no matter where you go, as work ethic is sorely lacking in many and if you have a good one you will always table more than your share. Part of life. This is why so many 'mavericks' work for themselves.
- Well put, Denise! BlueRose
15 y
3,890
This is a reply to # 1,381,167Maverick---I'm curious, are you the oldest child in your family? The reason I ask is that studies have found that the oldest child is the most responsible (as a rule) and a high achiever. As the oldest child in my family, I see a lot of myself in your post. Parents tend to make the oldest into the most responsible ("You're the oldest, you have to set a good example for the others." "You're the oldest, you have to watch the others.") Is that the case with you?
Denise got it right---you will find that once you're out of school and working, you will end up being the one to pick up after the office deadwood. You will be the one that everyone comes to asking to help out with this project or that because their assistants are worthless. Of course none of these bosses want to confront the worthless ones! In other words, you get punished for being good. One office I worked in I started speaking up about this and the deadwood got passive aggressive towards me. Things like forgetting to tell me about a meeting, making veiled references to their bosses about how nobody would offer to help them. Never mind that they frittered away the day instead of doing their own work!
All that said, I do understand your frustration when it comes to group projects. Your grade depends on everybody working together to turn out a good finished project. Someone who turns in a half-a$$ed job brings down everybody's grade! You've gotten some great suggestions from others on how to handle that!
If it were me, I would look for classes (or another college) where your projects are done independently. So whatever grade you get, it is due to you and you alone.
- Well put, Denise! BlueRose
15 y
3,890
- I hate group assignments GumbyGirl
15 y
4,012
This is a reply to # 1,380,914Maybe you are just acting this way because you are upset that you have to be at the level you are at.
Consider that maybe you're not necessarily better than the others, but more upset about your placement.
It's not always out of line to speak with your professors and teachers about these situations. They get it all the time. Sometimes, they really do know better. They know who is doing all the work.
They will give individual grades sometimes.
You can always turn in a note stating which portions of the paper you were responsible for.
It seems arrogant, but it's not.
- Re: Irritating overachiever causing ... aclays
15 y
4,146
