I was considering something today. I have always gotten along better with guys than with gals, although the very closest friends to me have always been gals. Like at work, I generally enjoy the conversation of and hanging out with the fellas. Since becoming married, guys that I run into and are friends with (like at work or a show) are fine but I don't go out and socialize with groups of guys or worse, a guy one-on-one. I consider it bad relationship karma. (For an explanation of the term relationship karma, see my extended works... er... or just email me, lol.)

Okay, so here's the thing. I didn't know this before coming here but Hawaii is big on military. There is an Army, Navy. Air Force and Marine Base here. At first you might think that this is a good thing b/c there will be lots of other ladies looking for friends. I've met military wives on many occasions and other women as well and I'm just not connecting with the ones with children - which are most women between 22 and 42. I have a few older friends who have never had children or whose children are grown up. Younger girls like me but I'm not the bar hopping type and they sense that I'm not party-girl. Most women my age I don't relate to so well because our lives have taken such different paths. I respect greatly that they raise lil people (if they do it well) but that doesn't mean that we have a ton in common.

Take this class I'm in. It's online and there is a lady that is right down the street from me. She seemed all gung-ho about me coming over there and us doing schoolwork together. I was surprised by her friendliness, especially since she volunteers with military families so I'm sure she knows people, but it was a pleasant surprise. I wasn't sure when this might happen b/c she had kids and her husband is in port and is home during evenings and weekends.

So we were chatting on the computer one day. She ways saying we should get together and I was agreeing so we were talking about timing and she asked if I worked during the day. I thought she'd have assumed I did since in all most class postings I said I worked in IT. I told her yes. That was the last of the get-together talk and I think it's because she assumed that I, like many military wives, are home days, raising babies I guess, and she would have liked some company. I was wondering why she was so friendly but it made sense when her tune changed. That's just one example.

So what do I do? I also feel disconnected from the life of the moms. So where to I find friends (who are girls and not trying to sleep with me)? Do I join a professional women's group? Mentor college kids? (That doesn't sound likely!) Get involved in community events so the women I do meet are involved in something other than kids and we have common ground? Join a book club? (Gag! I would be thinking we'd be reading something intellectually fascinating and end up stuck reading some boring/sappy chick book!!!) Maybe some good co-ed activity so it's not too girl oriented in a way that makes me want to jump from something tall?

*sigh* Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it's really about me not connecting with moms or me preferring men for company. Anyway, now great mass of sympathy needed but I am quite curious to hear thoughts on the subject from different angles of people from other sides of the situation or guys or whatever.