Martha,
Dyes are not good, just as you suspect. You can use henna to change your hair color. Click on the link below. To find more sites like this one, search at www.google.com ....just type in the words "henna hair" in the search box at google.

Blueduck

http://www.bodycareful.com/hennahair.htm

I use that on my baby's hair and he has light brown hair, I also mix chamomile tea with marigold tea and sometimes lemon juice or hydrogen peroxide (even though that's not a good idea because it burns hair). It gives him lovely gold highlights. It only works on hair that is already light coloured though if you have dark hair I don't know of any natural way to lighten it.
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I use that on my baby's hair and he has light brown hair, I also mix chamomile tea with marigold tea and sometimes lemon juice or hydrogen peroxide (even though that's not a good idea because it burns hair). It gives him lovely gold highlights. It only works on hair that is already light coloured though if you have dark hair I don't know of any natural way to lighten it.