hi
don't freak out too much, i'm a grown up and i have wet the bed a few times when i was much older than you, i have kids, a girl of 13, so i suppose i can relate to you, i don't think you are lazy, you may have food allergies , i know my son has accidents when he eats certain foods, if you can try and keep a food diary and see if a pattern emerges with the accidents and any foods you have eaten, my son has accidents if he eats too much gluten, which is bread and pasta and crackers, cakes and pies or dairy, by dairy i mean, milk, ice cream, cheese, an procesed foods with milk powder in it, also butter is dairy, it may be as simple as that. you could also try and not drink for a few hours before you go to bed, don't cut down on your drinks, but make sure your water intake for the day finishes maybe two hours before you go to bed, you should maybe drink water half an hour before meals and half an hour after, if you have your evening meal late don't drink the water fater your meal.
i hope that helps, keep us informed if you have any problems and don't feel embarrassed, it happens to us all
ciao bella
d
xx

Are you serious, grounded for two weeks? You must be kidding. This must be a prank, I don't believe it. If it is for real, I think the appropriate response would have been for her to express love and support. Under no circumstances should a parent ever act like this. Your mom has major problems as you probably already know because that is child abuse, emotional abuse. People wet the bed all the time, it's no big deal, who cares. If you were awake and sitting on her bed and went on her bed on purpose, now that would be a different story. Sounds to me like your mom has a history of wetting the bed herself and she is very ashamed of it (no reason to be ashamed except if you are taught to be by an abusive person) and she is taking out how badly she feels about herself on you--not your problem at all, has nothing to do with you girlfriend. Probably the anxiety she is causing within you is contributing to the problem, can you move in with another parent or grandparent who is not emotionally abusive?

Dear Xalokix,

You said that you stopped bed-wetting when you were four, and began again recently.

That's a tremendous clue!


Something has changed.


I wet my bed, regularly, until I was 12, then stopped. If there were dry nights, I can't remember them.

Then, in my 60's, I got an 'urgency' to go, often in the day, and had to get up in the night.

That ruins sleep, the all-important 'repairing' function. Plus, it is so tiresome....an annoyance.


And, it is almost impossible to understand 'why'. I have been looking for answers for several years. I have suspected mercury in the body for a long time, but not been able to pin it down to the exact sources...except mercury Amalgam ('silver') fillings in my teeth.

But, I didn't get my first filling until I was 18, because I didn't ever have a cavity. Friends suggested I get a 'dental check-up', anyway, and I did. That dentist had me watch in a mirror while he used a metal instrument to break a bit of the top of one molar. Then he declared that it was 'soft' and needed a filling.

Not knowing enough, I let him.

I won't tell you my whole sad dental story...except to say there are dentists who deserve a good smack, in my opinion.


Still, my body was able to handle whatever mercury contamination I was given. I didn't restart wetting my bed...though I have always had some difficulty with 'urgent' urination feelings, all of my life. I thought it was 'normal' until recent years when it happened more frequently, and interupted my sleep.

I am 70 years old, and though I don't wet my bed, I am fed up with these feelings of urgency.


A few days ago I read about the dangers of corn syrup...which contains 'fructose', a form of fruit Sugar that occurs naturally...BUT, we are NOT told how they extract 'fructose' from corn.

Mercury is used in this process...and other scary substances.


I remember that my mother always had corn syrup in the cupboard, though I don't remember how she used it...except for on pancakes. We didn't have those very often.

I do know that corn syrup has been used in baby formulas since way back, to make the baby poop the indigestible cow's milk.

If corn syrup was made with mercury and other such things in those days, too, we may have created a huge problem.

I believe that only mother's milk is good for babies.


Anyway, in that article I read a few days ago, it was said that corn syrup is now in every processed food, including bread. ...Free mercury...and more.

...Which means that, if the processor of our favorite processed foods has recently added corn syrup in one form or another, we may be getting more contaminents than anyone intended...without knowing.


I don't blame anyone...that's just the current level of understanding in the food industry.

I don't even know if this really IS the cause of urinary difficulties in people of any age. However, urinary difficulties are rampant, everywhere.

Just to prove that for yourself, look for 'adult diapers' in supermarkets. No company would make them for sale in a supermarket if there wasn't a huge need. Companies are very careful with their investment money! They have to be certain of big profits from any new product.


And, I wouldn't blame your mom, or anyone, for not knowing that it isn't YOUR fault. Many people have been told to punish the incontinent child. Someone even thought up the term of 'tough love', when there isn't any such thing. Love, real caring, is never 'tough'. It is just so easy to distract anyone from any undesirable behaviour or thinking with a smile.

I'll go get the link to a short film that illustrates this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao



................................

Now, as for taking care of yourself...

First, eliminate all processed food. Tell your family that you suspect that corn syrup/man-made 'fructose', isn't good for you...and that you want to eat simply, for a while.

Get your hands on the best fruit and vegetables and eggs and wholesome fats and very small amounts of the best, unadorned, meats that you can find. This may take tact with your family because the most wholesome foods may cost more, but you'll be eliminating any spending money you now use to buy 'snacks', if any.

(Look for anyone growing no-till, and organic, on heritage land...and get a great education. You may find people, and maybe even a small job, with such a perfectionist grower. It would be wonderful to get an education and free 'samples', from someone who takes care to grow NO-TILL, ORGANIC, and on HERITAGE LAND. You may find them in Organic Growers' Associations, or you may find their kids at school with you.)


If you can, find a shop that sells organic cotton cloths. Usually they sell mostly baby things, like diapers and such. However, they will certainly know where to get anything else organic cotton that you need. Maybe you can special order.


Here is how to make a bed for anyone who may need it...


Across the middle of the bed, where the hips will be, on top of the bottom sheet, put a rubber sheet that has cotton flocking on it.

Then add, across the rubber sheet, a folded cotton flannelette sheet of some kind. (They used to be called 'receiving blankets', for babies.)

Then diaper the person, without plastic or rubber pants.

If they do have an accident, only the center of the bed and the diaper need to be changed.

You might want to have two cotton-flocked rubber sheets, one to be gently washed and dried in the morning.

This is how hospital beds are made for those who need it. They change very quickly and easily.

There is even a way to fold diapers especially for girls. The shop will gladly show you how.


Sadly these things aren't cheap, nor are throw-away 'adult diapers', but the comfort of trouble-free sleep is well worth it!


No more tears, little one. This is NOT a life-long arrangement!

Your marvelous body works wonderfully.

I don't really know what 'causes' incontinence in anyone. For all I know it may be worry. But, I've looked long enough, and hard enough, to make guesses.

Besides, like you, I'm a good detective.


Some folks just have never needed to find answers...never really thought about it.

But, there are thousands who have, if there are 'adult diapers' in the supermarket.

And we WILL solve this, with a team like that on our side!


With you,

Fledgling

Sometimes the body functions differently, for a while. There is always a good 'reason', but we may not always be able to understand...yet.


It is 'normal', I believe, for the body to react to some new things, for a while, and then to settle down into a routine of 'handling' whatever conditions exist...without becoming/remaining ill in any way.


If the upset is severe, or lasts longer than we think it should, we had best check and 'tweak' all conditions that seem to be relevant.

Here we need good judgement, experience, and intuition. A team of family and/or friends, can be most helpful at this time.

Six heads are always better than one.

:D


(Always thank the giver of an idea, and say one thing you like from their idea, even if the whole idea isn't for you at this time. There is always something to like about every idea, even the silly ones.)

(You are so smart to ask on this lively bulletin board!)



At age 14, your hormones are likely to be jumping around like monkeys in a barrel.

None of us can tell exactly what is happening, or why. But, your body is smart, and has perfectly good reasons for everything it is doing.

Of course you will very likely feel frustrated, and cry. It is hormones that make us cry, in the first place.

All we can 'do' is head in the direction of moderation, and gentle self-management...and wait for the body to settle down into a happy routine...which may take a few years...or not.

Everyone will benefit from avoiding obvious poisons, of course. So, learning about those is a good thing. If you don't understand, at first...wait a while. Your 'noticer' will make it plain to you, soon.


In the meantime, surround yourself, inside and out, with beautiful things...natural beauty and beautiful things people created many years ago...like art that has been admired for hundreds of years...and beautiful music.

You'll know the exact right things for you by how they make you feel. Peaceful and content are good. ...And uplifted.


If you can't travel and see the beauties of this world first-hand, then there are places where you can see the best in pictures, at, say...

http://www.corbis.com


In the top left-hand corner of the first page you can search for any subject that interests you.

My first search there was for 'roses'. Later I looked for 'dandelions'.

You could even try for educational helps, like the 'silk road', the trade routes through the Gobi desert for the riches from China to the Middle East.

We may even be able to see Mount Fuji, or Kilimanjaro, on GoogleEarth. Or, castles in Scotland, or along the Danube, or tropical rain forests in the Amazon Basin. We could look for thatched cottages in England or Africa, ancient Roman or Greek ruins...knitting and weaving and colors to inspire anyone, and clothes design, and recipes, and babies of the world.

Everyone should read the book, 'The Complete Walker', by Colin Fletcher, any version your library has...and, 'Feasting on Wild Edibles', by Bradford Angier...or any of his other books.

The finest, online, I have ever found, is...

http://www.wishcraft.com


...Which is completely free, and will change your life for the better, forever.

And, the Italian national website, which displays all their major national treasures, including several complete books.


If you surround and fill yourself with beauty, you will grow even more beautiful and interesting, yourself. Beauty kind of sticks to us.

My best, Xalokix.

F.

did anything traumatizing happen to you like a close relative or friend dying. if so it is very common for especially teenagers to bedwet after the incident. if this is not the case than i really dont know what to tell you. other than plastic pants can really cut down on messy sheets. if this is the problem than you should go find some pshcologists websites and try to find something on this. when you do (because i know for a fact they're out there) than you simply print it out remind your mother of the incident and then see how she responds. sometimes they say hypontism works, some say the best way is to go one on one with a professional in this field. if money is the problem for your mother if she understands what u mean than secretly or with her if she wants to search for government sponsered programs for people with pschological problems. and yes of course the doctor wouldn't say anything, who answers all the questions at the doctor, parents do, so the doctor does not see any physical problem so they say u r fine. if this doesn't work u should try not to drink anything 3 hours before bed, and try to empty your bladder before you go to sleep. if this works or doesn't work reply to me and i will help you search for the answers you are looking for. i hope i have been helpful. i am a 16 year old that had a similar problem so now i just try to help people on these forums that i think my knowledge can be useful. well anyway i hope this was helpful and contact with any future questions regarding this issue.

-problemsolver67

here some useful information that could be helpful: http://kavyarok.org

Dear X:
This is NOT a unique issue, but unfortunately, your mother is not looking at it logically and is causing you some undue stress. My advice: As you've already found, the mess associated with such accidents is the real problem. If your only accident was a few drops of urine, that nobody would possibly notice but you, this wouldn't be a big issue at all correct? So you first need to address the mess with real adult diapers that could make the "spill" invisible to all others. If you are only loosing a few ounces of fluid, incontinence pads may be all you need. Second, call your doctor in confidence and tell him exactly what you've explained here. If your doctor is of no help find another one. Last, Google a doctor by the name of Steve Hodges and his article "The real reason your kid wets the bed." See if you think any of the discussion possibly applies to you. Best of Luck.

Okay, I suspect that this situation has been resolved, however, I would like to add some thoughts in here for whomever it may help. I'll first state that I am NOT a medical or psychiatric professional. This is a situation that I have read about elsewhere. All of the issues here are very typical of them. The fear,embarrassment, starting as teens, and parents thinking it's laziness. I'll address the last two. I've seen a number of posts elsewhere of kids who have started wetting as teens. The first thing of course, is to get the parents to realize that it's not laziness (in most cases). There can be a number of reasons for it.

Medical problems
Diabetes
Allergies
Hormonal issues

Sleep disorders
Obstructive sleep apnea
Abnormal sleep patterns
Ex: Excessive time in deep sleep stage

Psycho-social issues
Stress
School work
Peers
Bullying
Sexual or physical abuse


This just scratches the surface of possibilities.

The first thing is that until you can prove otherwise, believe kids when they come to you with this. Often kids are ashamed, embarrassed. or afraid to go to parents for a variety of reasons.

So, what do you do? Talk to them. Ask questions in an innocuous way. Look for clues such as changes in behavior to include changes in interactions between family members, relatives, friends, both kids AND adults. Are they extremely difficult to wake in the morning? Don't let doctors just dismiss things. Make sure that the most likely possibilities are ruled out. Kids, especially as tweens and teens really don't want to wet the bed. It's like every other issue that makes them different, really embarrassing.

For teens, if you have an issue like this, and your parents won't believe you, go to an adult that you trust, another relative, teacher, school nurse, school counselor, your doctor, and so forth. You know that the problem is real, and so you should never feel ashamed of what's happening. Most times, it WILL be something that you CAN'T help. Be patient and be honest.