no offense to all, but the ED discussion is way off topic, totally misses what is actually going on with me. Please, with respect, I ask you to just knock it off.

I do appreciate your efforts to, at times, be gentle with me and respectful. thanks. But you are barking up the wrong tree and I must protest against the labeling "ED" and so forth since I really, truly, FROM THE HEART believe that sort of labeling and language is ALWAYS damaging and certainly in my case not accurate.... people are ASSUMING that certain behavior is going on that isn't or assuming risks are being taken that aren't. if i were really concerned about myself I would not be going on an on-line forum; i would be consulting with professionals. which i do, by the way, psychiatrists, psychotherapists, MDs. What i am doing here is letting off steam and being honest AND MAKING PROGRESS, TOO, THANK YOU FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THIS, DONN! and my words are being twisted. i say i experience pain after 'bingeing,' well, for god's sake, everybody experiences abdominal pain at some point in life if you are in this overeating society, i mean, look at thanksgiving , it is a national ritual!!! not to mention that every DAY the average person eats to the point of some pain and hence the widespread use of antacids and widespread acid reflux and other problems! not to mention obesity epidemic! which i do not use and do not have, respectively!!! you don't bother to ask, how much food exactly are you eating, -- bingeing is my term for what i do and i didn't mean it in a clinical sense, so i should not have used it, sorry.... i think that i have a simply and very flamboyant/exaggerated/dramatic writing style. for this i do apologize since i have caused people distress. BUT in all this i again FROM THE HEART believe that a lot of the response to my stuff can be DAMAGING! It has to do with a person's dignity and sense of freedom to express what needs to be expressed. but i do see how i caused alarm. so sorry. but you can express concern but remember please ask the person you are concerned about for the facts. no one has asked me: do you think you are safe? The answer is: yes, i do think so and so do all my health care professionals. Who all HEARTILY support my fasting.

I am very happy and successful in my 66 hour fast and it is a breakthrough for me even though it is emotionally hard for me to fast. Just something to work on! My inspiration is that I should rejoice when I get the feeling of "Oh! I hate this! I can't stand to fast! I can't go on! " just as I can rejoice when I get the sluggish/toxic/detox feeling standard to the first 3 days of fasting. The emotional symptoms can be seen as detox just as the physical symptoms can. These symptoms, emotional AND physical, can be seen as signs that the fast is working.

anyway, the Ramones (?) said it best:

Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours to go!
I wanna be sedated!
Nothin' to do, nowhere to go!
I wanna be sedated!
Put me in a wheelchair, get me on a plane!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, before I go insane!
I can't control mny fingers, I can't control my brain!
(ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, baaaa!)
..........
I wanna be sedated!

I just like that song. And I have less than 24 hours to go before this 66 hour, breakthrough fast is complete. Next, on to a 72 hour fast. To focus on after this fast, small meals only and adequate wait time between meals. As i noted this past week, I got the waiting time right -- I just -- quite unintentionally -- made the meals too large. so I have to make a real,strong effort to make them smaller. so less pain and less symptoms..... I really do believe and experience that fasting brings me naturally into line in all these matters. It is an uncomfortable process, since, if you revert even partly to old habits post-fast, you will feel lots more pain than you might ordinarily.... this is what i was squawking about... but think about it: AS THE RESULT OF FASTING, I am actually FEELING the sensation that I SHOULD be feeling, due to the strengthening healing effects of the fast. It's NOT comfortable or fun but it brings about needed CHANGE. FAR BETTER TO FEEL THE PAIN THAN FAIL TO FAST, AND CONTINUE THE DAMAGING BEHAVIOR IN THE INTOXICATED STATE!!! -- day after day persisting in too-large meals which hurt the body but which the body in its weakened state cannot even protest against, by making you feel sick/uncomfortable! The body after fasting is strong and insists you behave properly! it makes itself heard and felt! fasting strengthens it and enables it to do this... I put this very specifically in my last posts and wish people would pay attention to that ... but other people are not my problem. I am here to post my truth. I know I am helping others in so doing. Thank you so much anja for your comments and to others who are not "ED" oriented. The ED people -- please go away. Or, please accept my sincere apologies for worrying you but please stop this as it is really not helpful. Lauray.