Hi Roooth,

No, this is not related to what I do for a living. I am a General Contracting Coordinator/Interior Designer, that’s how I make my living. My dad was a general contractor, after I graduated I worked for him and eventually took over his position. My mom was an interior designer, I grew up going to the furniture mart and interior design shows my whole life, so designing came natural to me I guess. Both of my parents have passed away and now I have the family business, I love what I do, sometimes I’m on the jobsite and sometimes I design from home. My journey into helping people with low self-esteem came quite by accident.

I don’t know that I’ll be able to help you due to the fact I have no formal education in counseling, but I can tell you how I help people realize their potential. I really just believe that we were all created equal and we should treat others on that foundation. I think that a lot, but not all people who suffer from low self-esteem were raised by parents who had those same traits. When you are raised in that environment its hard to know how to get out of it or if its even possible, they don’t realize that they can do anything about it and that belief is perpetuated in every area of their lives. I believe we teach people how to treat us and if you suffer from low self-esteem, feeling like you’re worth nothing, that’s how many people will treat you. You know that there are different classes of people, low, middle, and upper class. Its unfortunate but in most cases the middle and upper class people look down on the lower class, I’m not saying that happens all the time but that is the general rule, I mean upper class don’t hang out with the lower class people.

A couple of years ago I was at a function I had been invited to and met a women who seemed like she was afraid to talk to me, she wasn’t someone that would have normally been in the realm of people I come into contact with. She stayed at the edge of the crowd and wasn’t talking to anybody once she had been introduced and for some reason I was drawn to her. I ended up spending most of the party talking to her, at first it was like pulling teeth but after a while she became more engaged in the conversation, she is funny and very bright. Towards the end of the party she made a statement that just blew my mind, she asked me why I was interested in her because, using her right hand to show the levels she said “you’re way up there and I’m way down here.” She told me that my kind of people usually don’t see her, meaning they ignore her like she wasn’t there so she just stayed to herself. Believe me I am not “way up there” I am very blessed to have the life I live but I do not think I am better than anybody else. I don’t consider myself upper class but that’s how she saw me. I really had never thought about low self-esteem, it not something I suffer from and never had any contact with anyone that suffered from it. That night I spent talking to her really opened my eyes. It wasn’t that I was more fortunate financially than she was it was that she didn’t value herself at all, or in other words she had absolutely no self-esteem and I do.

Long story short, I got her phone number that night. It was almost Christmas, every year I get a few names from a teacher friend of mine of kids that are from families that don’t have much, I shop for those kids so they won’t be left with nothing for Christmas. I called my new friend and asked her if she would help me shop and wrap, then deliver the presents, she was more than willing and came with me. Doing this gave her the opportunity to have a part in helping someone less fortunate than she was, she realized that those people looked at her the way she had initially looked at me, they treated her like she was a queen. I can’t tell you the change I began to see in her after that day, it made her feel so good about herself. She cleaned houses for a living but told me she was interested in art, that she loved to paint but that she wasn’t good enough to make a living at it, she also told me she loved to sew. I had some friends who were putting on a play and didn’t have any costumes or set designs so I asked her if she would be interested in doing that, she jumped at the chance. I thought she could make some extra Christmas money but she did it for free because it made her feel so good to be needed. She did a wonderful job on the costumes, they looked like they were bought in a very expensive store, what talent she has and the props she painted were equally beautiful. The appreciation and warmth she received from my friends that were putting on the play really opened her eyes, they treated her like an old friend and they didn’t let her do it for free, they bought her a very nice Christmas present since she wouldn’t accept any money. Doing this allowed her to see that people aren’t any better than she was, it was her perception of herself that was the problem. We kept doing things together, she saw the way I interacted with people and pretty soon she really blossomed, within no time she was out on her own finding people like she used to be (no self-esteem) so she could help them see they are worth something. She is now painting for a living and doing very well financially, she is a very talented woman who no longer suffers from low self-esteem. One of her best friends now is one of my friends who put on the play. She has a happy, healthy outlook on life now that was lacking before and she loves meeting new people, she no longer sees people with more money than her as being better than her and relates well to everyone she comes into contact with.

That’s just one example, the class difference is always going to be there and there are snooty people in this world that will never mingle with people below their class, but there are many that aren’t and they can make a difference in someone else's life. Before that night at the party I would never have dreamed anybody would think I was better than them, my parents taught me that I wasn’t better than anybody else but that nobody else was better than me either, that we should all be kind to every person we meet, I guess what I’m trying to say is that in my family I never knew there were people above me or below me. Everyone was not raised believing that, I’ve had my eyes opened, my talented friend showed me a whole new opportunity to help people, and its so worth it. It doesn’t cost anything but a little time and compassion. This women is now helping other people realize their worth. If we could all help just one person in this world it would make such a difference. I was raised being told I could be anything and do anything in this life if I wanted to work hard enough to accomplish it, and that is what I’ve done. But imagine if you were raised being told that you will never amount to anything or you will never rise above your lot in life or all those people with more money are better than you are, that child would grow up believing that because their parents were living it. This is especially true at the poverty level because when kids that don’t have much go to school they are most often shunned by the rich kids. Most often children who grow up in that kind of environment have low self-esteem as an adult unless they meet someone along the way who shows them a different way.

There have been those who I haven’t been able to help but there have been many that I have helped. Some with low self-esteem don’t want to know a different way, they love the self pity, but there are those who just don’t know how to be any different and feel they aren’t good enough. A lot of times all it takes is befriending them and showing them you are no better than they are by showing them kindness and spending time with them. It really helps people build self confidence if they are able to help someone less fortunate than themselves. I guess the bottom line is that I believe in the basic goodness of people and that if we would treat people equally they will start to believe in themselves.

Well, there you have it, I’m sorry I ended up writing a book for you to read LOL but I couldn’t explain what I do in a shorter version. Hope this answered your question. Have a wonderful night.

Willow