What makes a good marriage?

Research by psychologist John Gottman found that it is important to have what he calls the Magic Ratio of 5 positive interactions for each negative one. So, let’s talk now about how couples behave with one another in a sucessful marriage.

Successful couples all do the following things:

Show Interest in one another. In a good marriage, when their partner is speaking, whether arguing or not, they are obviously interested in what the other is saying. Their minds are not wandering, thinking up the next arguing point, or watching TV. They are paying attention.

Are Affectionate with each other. They show this in little ways, such as touching, holding hands, and expressing their affection for their partner.

Show They Care by committing small acts of thoughtfulness, such as bringing flowers or a gift without a particular occasion, or making phone calls just to say “Thinking of you.”

Show Appreciation by thinking, remembering and saying positive things about each other.

Show Concern by paying attention to things that are bothering their partner, and being supportive without trying to fix things.

Are Empathic by showing they really understand what their partner is going through.

Are Accepting. Even when they disagree, they let their spouse know they understand and respect their point of view.

Joke Around. Good marriage partners use humor, silliness and teasing in a loving way, never in a hostile or sarcastic manner.

Share Their Joy. When they are delighted or excited about something, or having fun, they let each other know.

The important thing to have a good marriage is to maintain the Magic Ratio of 5 good things for each negative thing that happens between you.


http://www.marriage-family-counseling.com/good-marriage.html