Hi, I know very little about the illnesses you mention. I have a husband with serious mental problems though and I think I can understand a little of what you are going through. I'd just like to say I really admire your obvious devotion and understanding. I have had so many people over the (16) years i've been married advise me to leave my husband but when you know it's not the person's fault, they are ill you just can't can you? And anyway, you love them and know they need you, it is incredibly hard isn't it. My son is now nearly 21 and I always found the best way to help him cope with his dad's illness was to be very honest, it's the illness you hate, not the person, lots of chats and hugs, a sense of humour where possible, and making time for him away from the house, so the illness didn't take over completely. I really, really hope things get better for you, you must be an amazing guy. Sorry I have no really good advice except to get her to a naturopath/herbalist if at all possible. All the best x

Jon,

Did you notice the first word in the title of your post? It is PAST TENSE!

You know your own preferrences...your intentions.

Get yourself good counselling to help with the change you already know you will make.

Take the daughter/children with you, or send them on their own way with your kindly support when they are ready.

You don't have to live any way you don't want to...period! ...No matter what the woman says.

The need to be 'right' is a figment of her imagination. Leave her to it, for you can't change her, as much as you may wish to.

You are the one carrying the scars to prove it.

Get the children out, too. And get counselling and legal help...they will know the appropriate options.

We begin to suspect another's words are true, that we are useless. You are going to feel like a brand new person the moment you take action.

Form your own life, now.

Getting counselling for yourself is a great first step! Getting separate counselling for the children is an even finer second step.

This may be the finest thing you do in your life...save yourself and save the children.

My best,

Fledgling

Hello Jon,

My ex husband had NPD and also my mother,so I completely understand where you are coming from.

This is a character disorder and these people don't change.
I was with my ex husband for fifteen years and if anything he's behaviour got more bizarre as time went by.

Please get out of this relationship,before your mental health is completely destroyed.

If you can take your children with you,I would do so..take it from someone that knows..the damage done to these children,at the hands of an N parent can last for YEARS.

She will not change and if that is what you are hoping for,then you are going to hope in vain.

Please leave her,

Thinking of you,

Hugs
Sharonxxxx