How to Regain Confidence

"The karma approach to confidently interacting with other people: how you do unto others controls what you think others will do unto you.

Steps
1. Think about how you react when someone asks you for something or tells you something personal. Are you cool about it or do you freak out? Most importantly: do you secretly freak out, but pretend to be cool about it just to be polite?

2. If you are really cool about it: you are probably a really nice and accommodating person and you are afraid of inconveniencing others. To gain confidence, remind yourself that you like to help people and listen to them when they come to you (or at least you don't mind it too much), you should give others the chance to return the favor. Really, most people are as accommodating and compassionate as you are.

3. If you freak out: you have problems relating to people in general. Gain confidence by doing nice things for other people, then you will feel like you deserve to have nice stuff in return and you won't be afraid to tell people what you need.

4. If you secretly freak out but act polite: you lack confidence because you are afraid everyone else is just as fake as you are. Gain confidence by being truthful with yourself: the next time someone asks you to do something you aren't comfortable with, politely say no instead of politely saying yes. Once you define your own boundaries, it will be easier for you to get what you need out of other people.

Also, once you have rejected a few people yourself, it will be easier to accept rejection from others without totally losing your confidence."

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This article talks about something that we all need to do: we all need to reject people.

This sounds counter-intuitive because we all want acceptance so much.

But when I talk to a person now, I always think in the back of my mind: "Am I going to accept this person? I might accept this person."

Interact with people with the understanding that you have the power to accept or reject them.

When we desperately seek acceptance, we will never get it. You have to let go of seeking acceptance in order to actually get it.

Your confidence will start to change when you tell yourself that you already posess acceptance, and it is in your power to accept or reject anyone else.

***Also, the most important aspect of self-confidence is doing good works.***

When you do good things for other people, you become less afraid to be more assertive and ask for things from other people. You begin to believe that you deserve good things from people because you do good things for others.





Cabel