I found myself writing this out at work today...I plan on burning it tonight. Thought I'd share it - I don't quite know why though.
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I believe in the Law of Attraction

I believe that Source wants me to have everything I desire in order to expand the Universe.

I believe that my vibrational set point determines what I draw to myself & experience.

I believe that held within my vibrational escrow is EVERYTHING I've ever wanted or desired.

What I don't currently have is the self-assuredness that is important in order to draw what I want. In other words, "consistency at maintaining a high vibrational set point equal to my desires is not consistent enough.". I'm on a daily roller coaster ride that peaks and valleys to such enormous degrees that LOA has been drawing me a neutral, unmoving experience. That which I desire most...a windfall that would allow me to offer a significant downpayment on my mortgage loan has yet to manifest even after nearly 6 months of studying LOA & understanding that what I think about I experience. I'm more upstream than downstream which is neutralizing my best efforts.

Can I change? Yes! How long will it take in order for me to affect positive change? Unknown - it's a guess - thinking/feeling good is difficult for me - I feel the scale is tipped too significantly against my better intentions.

Nothing is opening up for me in any direction. This daily/nightly emotional/mental /physical trauma (fear) is more than I want to experience any more in my life. I want to be happy, hopeful, in love, feeling loved by a loving man & reasonably financially solvent & supported.

I'm a double-earth sign that wants to experience stability. This house is where I want to live until/unless something better appears. However, I'll do what needs to be done by the end of the first week of April 2008.

I've appealed to my mother and my 3 brothers for help, but to no avail. Ours was quite a dysfunctional family headed by our very dysfunctional mother.

I want a full time job that nets me more than enough monthly income in order to live alone in the house.

I've played out this uncertainty long enough. I neither sleep nor function well. Much longer experiencing this level of stress & my health & sanity will suffer.

I know that only I am the obstacle...it grieves me greatly to realize this. I simply don't know how to get out of my own way in a timely manner. I'm in the 11th hour, and I'm both figuratively & literally awakening in the middle of the night sweating bullets.

Please guide me...even if Plan B needs implementation. I prefer Plan A, but time is running out for me. I take accountability for all that is occurring, but nothing short of an enormous life-changing epiphany/awakening will suffice.

If I'm missing something...ANYTHING...please awaken me in the most effective manner & I will comply. For I am a holographic projection of Source Energy - this I fully acknowledge.