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Day 17 Mine eyes have seen the glory!
Cookies, cakes, and pies can't replace what's true!
Date: 1/27/2008 8:45:39 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 3117 times Day 17! Late again I know.. but I was up for hours on the phone with my best friend having the best conversations. If I didn’t have her, I would be dying.. just dying from starvation from intellectual, spiritual, loving and authentic conversation. I must have them...I MUST!!!
This fast has gotten more and more interesting. I am still very optimistic but for some reason the later I stay up these days, I find myself wanting to eat. I have been drinking PLENTY of water which helps met get thru it…along with plenty of prayer. I really want to keep going because I know my body is still detoxing. I have the white coating on my tongue and still haven’t had a BM on my own and my skin is sooo dry... what’s up with that???? I am having to take enemas to help me along and still having solid “matter” come out. (I always try to be politically correct.) However, I will say that I damn sure do feel lighter after…so as far as I am concerned… YEAH for enemas, 5 minutes and you ready to go baby!
So as I approach day 18 I am praying to keep my eyes on the prize and always remain focused and in prayer. I have been cleaning and clearing and throwing away as many things as I can and I actually feel drawn to do it.….It feels good to let go. I haven’t exercised, I know, shame on me but my energy has been way down. I am dealing with some female issues and I decline to go into detail because I really don’t want to induce vomit or fear in all the men who may be reading this blog. Ladies, you understand!
I have been getting plenty of rest. I am elated to say I that I bought a pair of jeans a few months ago and could not come close to buttoning them but I tried them on last night and by the end of this fast I know I will be able to wear them comfortably. I am ready to start feeling better so I can hop on my treadmill. I need to get my money’s worth because before this fast I would walk past it and turn my head in shame. It would call out for me like a yearning lover… but I would run away with cookies in hand and pretend not to hear the call to action.
About another AHAA moment… I had a surprise yesterday and it was one that didn’t expect. I found myself a little worried and feeling down… then I found myself desiring ice cream. I wanted some of that sweet funky stuff! It hit me so quickly…and I thought.. that Is IT!!! That is why I am fat…( and I type that with a smile. ) That is what I do when something upsets me.. . I stuff the feeling with something sweet and comforting. Now that I actually realize it.. . I see I have the opportunity to make different choices and I pray for the stamina and strength to remember this in every moment. I hope to choose power instead of feeling powerless, to choose wisdom instead of feeling resigned. I choose to be aware, and being aware is priceless!
As I type this..I realize this is what the fast about. Clarity!!! I have been experiencing clarity in so many areas of my life. Areas where I need to grow and make choices that enhance my power and self love instead of detracting from them.
I am so grateful and so thankful. I desire to see this thru and change the whole.. . the WHOLE of my life.
This is about making choices for the greater good...my greater good.
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