I wish i could let go, I wish I could think about healing and the future. But I am in a situation with this rapid form of ALS that healing is not possible and the future is non-existent. ALS patients have left no stone unturned in finding way to halt the disease and none have been able to do so - those that have have either been misdiagnosed or have had such a slow progression that some measures may be somewhat effective. What would you do if you could not look forward, you would look back and lament, even though it does no good, you still would because there is nothing else. And praying to God all of a sudden when you are an atheist is no good, and what kind of a God would punish a soul who has led their whole life being caring and generous to others, even if not in His name. That is another topic altogether. Believe me, if there was even the remote chance of stopping this, I wouldn't be posting here now, I would be looking forward. I just feel anger that I was gullible enough to be led to believe that my eye floaters were parasites, and the price I have to pay for this error in judgement is so horrific.

Anyway, this is the last you folk will hear from me, I have vented here and elsewhere but the situation will not change, so there is no real point. I apologise for becoming so vile and bitter, but you will never know what sheer desperation for your life will do to you if you don't experience it. To be envious of everything and everyone around you and to throw away a good life (your one and only chance) that your parents and you have worked so hard for is utterly devastating.

If the FDA stops herbalists from selling their products, it really is no real disaster, you have all the information you need to grow and make them yourselves - growing or buying your own garlic, ginger, cinnamon, sage, etc. will never require prescription. Conventional medicine I agree is far from perfect, but will treat you with something only when you really need it, and the drugs have gone through rigorous clinical trials so that any disastrous side effects and developments are not possible. they may not heal you, but they won't harm you - not permanently and seriously anyway. Buandyelo, your doctors may not have healed your ailments, but rest assured they will not leave you to die, like they have now with me. I may sound like I staunchly defend western medicine, but I have experienced the absolute worst of both worlds really and am left with little faith for either branch of medicine.

Unfortunately I find it hard to let go, I'm 27 and will never travel, have a family, play sport, work, etc again, and my family is left with this burden when I'm gone. Regardless, I will not post here again, and leave this place to be full of happy thoughts once again. I predicted the solidarity against me, it's only natural, but it doesn't really bother me, nothing does anymore. Just know that every breath and step you take in your life is a gift, and never do anything to jeopardise it. For the final time, goodbye and good luck.