10:24 pm
January 24, 2013

There was a very beautiful event going on downtown.

I wasn't sure I had the energy to go.

I am still not that strong after five weeks of weakness due to colds, cold,
and flu-like symptoms.

Tonight, rather than go out, I went through a few piles of Bank Statements and bills while all the while feeling disoriented and bereaved that I have lost my sense of community.

I am feeling very old.

A new generation of leaders has moved in.

I feel disoriented.

I realize that I worked many hours last year toward one goal, YES on Prop 37.

I left many things behind to give this the focus that I did.


There are other build up in my space of old disorder that has accumulated.

I really do not have the strength to go to the beautiful event that is happening still downtown.

Woe is me....what will become of me?

The things I have based my identify on seem out of touch.


Where is my community?

Where are the people whose lives have been the foundation of interaction?

I feel like reaching out.


11:02 pm
Why DO I FEEL SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE

I feel left out, a lack of self expression.

No place anymore where I fit in my local community in the places that were important to me.

I feel very sorry I did not find a way to go.

I did not see the fullness of the event.

I am not feeling the energy to put myself out.

What are the roots of this?



10:29 pm
January 24, 2013

 

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