owning my eating disorder owning my eating disorder by mariposa azul .....

i am bulimic

Date:   12/17/2009 11:22:03 AM ( 13 y ago)

Going to my doctor today.
I know it will be emotionally draining, yet I am looking forward to it. My dealing/healing from my eating disorder is going slower than I would want, yet I am hopeful and I like the direction I am going. Recovery is on my horizon.
I visualize a life without bulimia & it looks beautiful.

My doc had prescribed the lowest anti-depressants normally given to bulimics and I noticed a difference within 2 weeks of taking the a.d. but even though I was not purging I continued to overeat, which of course led to weight gain!
so i went bact to my eat/purge cycle. Just freaked me out to weigh almost as much as I did when I gave birth to my three babies.
so i am on my way to see my doc. and seek her help.
and that in itself is also huge. i am so used to dealing with my bulimia in secrecy. i am wanting to heal.

i am praying my christmas wish comes true. a life without bulimia....without them knowing i know that it is the best gift that i could ever give my children and my husband and all my loved ones.
the best gift i could ever give myself.

 

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