Tuesday, May 10 by #45605 Blog entry

Some spiritual aspects of this fast

Date: 5/10/2005 7:21:39 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2833 times

Galatians 2:20 is one of my bedrock verses right now. The idea of Christ living through me in this life I am living, and the faith by which I live being not something generated within my own efforts, but that of Him, is very strengthening to me at this point in my walk. HIS faith, which HE gives me, not some generated good feeling worked up by my little heart!

The enemy is haunting me with the fleshly idea that I can mistakenly make bad decisions while trying to follow God's will with a sincere heart...

like since I have chosen to refuse chemotherapy and radiation, I could possibly die because I chose the 'wrong' option.

This is not true, I stand against it! The TRUTH is that my life is hid with Christ in God, and as long as I follow Him with my whole heart, there can BE no wrong decision. The key, as you mentioned in one of your past posts, Judy, is in the heart.

Whether I live, or die in the flesh, my LIFE (true, everlasting LIFE) is hid with Christ. I can do NOTHING to prolong or shorten my physical life, since it is His. I cannot understand the depth of the decisions I must make. I am not smart enough! I do not have enough information! NOR DO THE BEST DOCTORS!

But I know that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know that I am bought with a price, and desire wholeheartedly to glorify Him with my body - in physical life, OR, if He so chooses, in death.

So my decisions concerning my body and my sickness are made from the security that He is all-knowing, supremely loving, and He will supercede ANY MISTAKES I MIGHT UNKNOWINGLY MAKE IN MY DECISIONS...not because I am reckless or selfish and expecting Him to rescue me anyway (I will not tempt the LORD, my God), but because my spirit genuinely longs for HIS will, no matter what that may be. He honors that. That pleases Him. To remain in this life might yield Him some more fruit through my life, but to depart and be with Him is far better, of course! HIS will be done!

I am trying, though, to leave a love trail, a faith trail, a true joy trail, and a trail of writing of spiritual testimonies and examples for my loved ones and friends - ESPECIALLY my two precious sons, their future wives, and children ---- IN CASE God calls me home soon. I know HE works through lives totally consecrated to Him LONG after the person's physical life comes to an end-- from within the hearts they touched with their faith. (this is the 'living waters' that flow out of our innermost being..the work of the Holy Spirit).

<tears> So, AWAY with the enemy's lies! I hide in the ROCK that is higher than I.... as Job said; "Though He may slay me, yet shall I serve Him"

Well, Judy, you asked! Wink

I guess you can begin to tell that my road is emotionally very rough right now. I'm facing this next surgery in two days. Fear comes and goes. I'm wondering what the pathology report will show....but that path report is not the RULER, GOD is! And this fast is my move OUT of the grip of the physical and giving FULL HONOR to the all-encompassing POWER of the Holy Spirit in these matters.

I have one praise to add to the end of all this mash- Wink

I 'informed' my family on Sunday (after LONG INTENSE prayer) that I would be doing this fast, and the reasons why.

I fully anticipated major resistance from my husband. He is a believer, but it is ALWAYS more difficult to 'take chances' with a loved one's life than with your own, and I was uncertain how God was directing him as my husband and spiritual leader.

He accepted it so easily it was scary. VERY unexpected. Obviously of God, this change of his mind. <shaking my head in total amazement>

Later, I was standing at the kitchen sink, and my youngest son (19 years old, a believer, too) encouraged me to fast...and I hadn't TOLD him my plans yet. My eldest son (20), when he heard of my plans, went out and bought me a Mother's Day rose.

I guess I've got support from my family, yes? Very Happy

Off to clean part of the house so that it'll stay a little cleaner during the period I am flat on my back!