Blog: The End of Strategic Living
by EricGrace

The End of Strategic Living

Looking at how emotional maturity is a necessary foundation for physical, mental, and spiritual healing.

Date:   3/23/2005 10:07:39 AM   ( 17 y ) ... viewed 3271 times

The End of Strategic Living
by Eric Grace

What if transcendence-based teachers show how to strategically obliterate pain rather than heal it? Similarly, what if devotional religious leaders instruct us to give over our pain to God actually preventing real healing? Picture a child screaming from being beaten or neglected and then picture someone teaching them to access non-duality or love Jesus so they don’t feel the beating or lack of love anymore: DS Barron offers that is what spiritual teachers are unconsciously doing. DS Barron is the creator of The ESH Process (Emotive Subself Healing©), a means to heal the emotional body from the inside out.

DS Barron with ESH© and Dr. Martha Horton’s Amáte Growth Work© have shown how emotional immaturity lies at the very heart of turmoil in human endeavors. They show how the current spiritual and psychological paradigms either dismiss our emotions via transcendence or over-focusing on our physical, mental, or spiritual aspects which block real healing.

Both speak to how we are not qualified to do much of anything until we undergo deep emotive healing work. That is unless we seek to attain our spiritual, mental, and physical goals on a foundation of shifting sand and at the same time sealing our deeper pain for us to deal with next lifetime.

Barron also offers that what causes our core wounding as children is when we can’t feel our parents feel us while we are feeling what we are feeling. As a result, we are unable to emotionally digest traumatic experiences. What follows is a sense of reality as existentially unsafe and ourselves as unreal. Parents unaware of their strategies and feelings underneath innocently send double-messages to their children. This is enough to confuse any child’s heart long before any sexual, physical, or verbal abuse and/or neglect.

In all cases, the child’s strategic coping aspects arise to defend. Our defenses lovingly employ whatever they can to provide a safe haven from the core terror and pain of these experiences. This pain then stays hidden underneath our unconscious strategies in the form of subself realities until we unearth them. This applies whether we become a Donald Trump, Michael Jordan, Mother Teresa, Gangaji, George W. Bush, or John Doe. Each persona is founded upon the same strategic dynamic regardless of the good that they provide or the harm that they do in the world.

Through ESH, people experience for themselves how this is active in their lives: using things like meditation, careers, relationships, wealth, certain foods and eating habits, intellectual and spiritual beliefs, solitude, and how they relate to their children all as a cover for deeper emotional pain.

When we are willing and able to take a break from how we relate to these substances, behaviors, and self-images, we acutely feel how much we’ve not been deeply felt in childhood and in our daily lives. We then see how necessary these things have been to comfort us in lieu of emotional nourishment. In the process individuals develop self-respect for our defense system and heal the yearning that was underneath.

As we learn how we are emotional beings first and then mental and physical beings, the topography of how we go about living life and how we address our wounds changes drastically. This dynamic is easy to observe in babies that are pure emotion and only over time learn to have an objective self through the mental body and how to move with our physical one.

The current focus of the mind-body connection still emanates from the ‘I think, therefore I am’ paradigm that arose four hundred years ago. We now need to enter the ‘I feel, therefore I am’ paradigm. All therapies that see the mind or physical body as primary to the emotional body miss the foundation of our emotive suffering and therefore cannot heal it to the core.

Meanwhile our root emotivity is actually the doorway to the spiritual levels of our being. When we don’t fully inhabit our emotional being, our spiritual paths lead us to compensatory strategic attainments. Spiritual maturity is only possible with emotional maturity as the foundation for its blossoming.

Obviously physical maturity doesn’t necessarily coincide with emotional maturity. However, learning how to be an emotionally mature adult is rarely taught and in fact there is no agreed upon criterion. Living from a strategic base rather than our authentic being is the benchmark of emotional immaturity. Our strategic foundation manifests in half-fulfillment and emptiness that seeps through during the quiet times in our lives. The people who consciously feel happy rarely have motivation to look at how they are living strategically and not feeling their deeper emotive unconscious pain; that is until tragedy and loss occur in their lives.

Pain from childhood still exists within anything that we do. Each intention and action that we take, including societally approved norms, is in some way an attempt to live around that pain until we heal it at the core emotive motivational level. The only way to heal is to deconstruct the very strategies that have protected us while fully feeling all that comes up along the way. If this is not done in the presence of a non-strategic based person, the same result will occur in therapy as it did in childhood. We will simply develop a new set of strategies to cope with these feelings relegating them once again to the unconscious.

In sum, there are many pressing issues that we must address as a human family. We need local community development. We need political and economic reform. We need environmental respect and sustainability. We need to end all the terrorism. We are called to meditate and abide with God.

However, what has been missing is an organizing principle upon which to address them: without emotional healing and then mental and spiritual healing, the strategy of what we take those steps with will merely be a reflection of our individual strategies that are in place to deal with our emotional congestion. Each of our steps will be colored in a way that hinders the very outcomes we seek, because strategies are based in resistance to what is so.

However, undergoing this heart-rendering task of deep emotional healing we find the end of strategic living brings with it the beginning of an authentic life. We can unearth our most real selves while manifesting our deepest dreams from a solid healthy ground of Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.

Eric Grace is no longer associated with ESH or Theohumanity. If you wish to contact him please email him at For more information about Theohumanity or Amate Growth work look on under those headings.

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