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Love/Life Lessons
Powerful Lessons--
about Life, Love, and
Car Mechanics.
Date: 9/16/2006 12:50:55 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1727 times 9:51 AM
September 16, 06
I want to make the most of the next two hours.
Lots to write about.
I also want to give some time to entering some
Chase-Bank One figures in Quicken
because until I really finish up with the summer
record keeping and turn in my '05 for the year,
I will be kept from fully entering the New Season
that for me begins on the 22nd.
Are you in overwhelm
and being asked to make some kind of changes
but not be sure what to do?
Are you cleansing?
Are you feeling impulses
and urges to break out
and do new things?
Are you feeling the impact of a summer
when for many of us we did not know where we stood
or it felt like we could not trust the physical?
For me I wasn't sure what I could depend on.
I fixed the same thing three times in the EG Mobile.
I finally had to get another mechanic in on this job
as well as use my friends down at The Big House.
If I hadn't pursued this, the folks at AES Remanufacturing
would have not tested the generator/voltage regular.
I am not sure how long it might have taken Asgede to
figure out that the voltage regulator was the wrong one
and this was playing havoc with the generators that he
was installling. There may still be some electrical wiring
to improve, according to new diagnostician Mike.
I will see Mike after the 26th when he comes back from vacation.
I also have a new ally in the Computer department,
Bill at Crywolf. He is a straight shooter and really knows
his stuff. I have not made a decision about a new purchase
yet, althought today is the last day that their is a big discount
for students on a package down at the Apple Store in Fashion Valley.
I want to be able to podcast eventually...
and likely this deal they have would get me in that game.
I am not sure how high up on the priority list that is...
there is always another deal, I imagine.
I am looking forward to taking a Photoshop Elements Class
today at the North City 619.388.1800 continuing education.
That will be more SUPPORT coming my way as far as learning
rather than struggling with questions I do not know.
There is an strong energetic and emphathetic bond between
me and the mechanical and electronic tools I use.
At this point in my evolution, my tools become extensions
of my energy field.
This is not difficult to imagine.
I once heard an Essene talk about how Mary the Virgin
got pregnant. It didn't talk much to manifest a bit of
pregnancy by Alternative Energetics
when the Universe was behind it, or so that story goes...
The Medal in my Vehicle
seems to be influenced and also used
by the Universe to teach me things.
In the last ten days, I had one more expression of this.
I was up to fulfill a family obligation with Best Friend.
She had requested I not spend the night. Part of me
or the universe may have thought that was not such a bad idea.
Maybe I was suppose to leave in the morning.
For two or more years, my dashboard indicator lights are on
all the time. They never, never, go off.
They light up in both directors, pointing as arrows both ways.
It was the end of the evening. Best Friend walked me to my
Vehicle. IT was a nice parting. I would
not normally drive home, at least a two-three hour drive with traffic,
at such a late hour.
I started up the engine.
What are the chances that one of the indicator lights would be
out. The one that was on was pointing in the direction of her house
was ON.
I thought twice about this. Should I ask to stay?
Was there something wrong with the Vehicle electric again?
What was this new manifestation out of nowhere?
I said I would go. I wanted to keep my word.
I told myself I would go that night.
There was something in it for me, to come and go,
and not rely on Best Friend to be there for me
when she had little extra juice to share.
I knew this. I wanted to respect this
for my own good, as well as hers.
So I drove off resolved that I would make it home.
4/5ths or so home, I looked at the indicator lights.
Only one was still on. I was thinking about these indicators.
I thought it was curious. Then,
there was a little snap. The one light that was off went back on.
That was more than six days ago. Both indicator lights
have been on since.
So please explain that one.
This week has been somewhat shocking for me.
Changes, or impending changes of any kind are often
shaking for me. They shake me into looking at my Cracks
and what needs to be cleansed.
I am also slow at learning new things, but once I learn
them, I get a deep mastery.
After a summer of feeling imprisoned in my space during
these money numbers--an experience that triggers
childhood issues of learning math, being good enuf,
and more,
after computer harddrive rebuilding
and stress to not lose all the work I did this summer--
after all the Mobile mystery, after all the world
uncertainty reflected through my personal energetic system,
I can not say this this was a week when I could easily
digest Best Friend
reminding me that there are no guarantees in the form of our
relating. Love Making between us comes and goes,
and when it is here, I can easily forget that it may not
be here tomorrow.
This was a bit much to process--in light of my
unsettledness-- without
breaking into the circuitry.
Yesterday, I had a powerful coaching session with
Dr. Judith Reno Larkin. A nature Charvoyant and Mystic,
and friend and witness for more than 25 years,
she reminds me that the Guiness record for sustaining
life with bone cancer is 24 years. Judith has had bone
cancer for 26 years. She treasures each and every day.
She has written a number of books on the God Ladder,
a channelling from the Hierarchy years ago.
She reminded me of something that I know already.
Best Friend is a treasure, and someone I have co-created
to keep me honest. Best Friend is like a Cosmic Hacker.
She breaks into me when I am getting too computer-like.
She triggers my inner issues to make sure I keep growing.
The Universe seldom allows me to get away with too much.
Best Friend is their glorious instument to keep
Your Enchanted Gardener on his toes.
As the Goddess Prayer, Love Cure #6 goes:
"There is a price in being with me.
You must learn to dance.
You will have to move this way,
and then that way,
and then this way,
and then that way,
until there is no place to go
but into the center of your being."
As someone who grew up in a highly charges abusive
environment, by relationship with God is unside down
and inside out, according to Judtih.
I am the first Jew in my lineage that has not prayed
three times a day in a conventional Jewish way.
My dad was a ragaholic when I was growing up.
He helped create a Soul on Earth who is here
to make changes in the Religious system.
As Judith points out, I am not a victim.
I choose my parent experience, and I choose
Best Friend, exactly the way she is,
and will be. Amen.
My mother, and our home until the age of 12,
was the center of our Jewish
World. Anne Goldman seemed to be at times more Angel-like that human.
I will never forget the image of looking up at her
holding a naked bottomed little hispanic girl who was
lost and crying for her own mother.
She died the summer I graduated from Grade Six.
We had moved to the othe side of town, the new
Jewish community in LA near Canters Deli.
I felt uprooted
from the neighborhood where I was raised. I grew up in
a neighborhood were we had many friends, both Jewish
and Hispanic. We were all family.
After she died, I was in a new part of town.
My father would shlep he around to places to eat.
This was a far cry from having a mother who made
my meals.
I felt ostracised on a cell level from the Jewish community
after my mother died.
They there was the issue of my father force feeding me
Religion as he knew it.
No wonder I started to develop arthritis.
I can hardly do conventional Jewish things without pain
to this day.
I feel stress just thinking about those experiences
that are in my body.
They are in my Cracks,
but as that poem goes:
"I am the Crack.
Can you handle a little good news?
I am not all I am Cracked Up to be!
I am the Crack.
I was born to disappear...
Dance the Crack!
Make a Holy Sound in the Crack!
May the Last Crack on Earth disappear.
May I be the Last Crack on Earth."
My mom was a servant of her community as well,
to the point where there were nights when I would be
left alone in the house.
That Shock is still in me.
I have not fully shaken it out.
Maybe I need some kind of Shamanic Drug?
I do not have a conventional relationship with Best Friend.
It is a relationship with no name, that in my right mind
I can see as God Sent.
We know we are Best Friends,
we know we are Twin Souls, and over the period of our
six years together in this life, there are times we
make love. Connection with Best Friend
can bring to both of us God experiences that are
some of the most incredible
I have had in this life.
We both have had issues about our physicality.
Making love to Best Friend is an affirmations of
each other's bodies. Bodies seem to be made for each other
and we can be thoroughly excited by each other.
For someone walks with a limb, and has artificial hips,
it is powerful medicine to be told you are the best lover a
woman has ever had.
It is not that easy to remember that
there are other experiences life can offer
for both of us. (Oh No!)
My preference will always be that this is in
addition, rather than in exclusion, of what we
share.
One thing I do know,
In all likelihood what experiences Best Friend
has, She will likely be back, and we will always
be friends.
I keep joking that we have a date for the year
she is 96.
On top of all this, I am a suc*** for a woman who responds
to Life most exquisite pleasure
with uncontrollable screams of "Oh God! Oh God!"
Then there is the yo yo effect, that I have as much as she
is inclined to demonstate on occasion.
How much pleasure and intimacy will I allow myself to have
before I start triggering all the God-Awful material stuck
in my Cracks that really needs to come out?
I truly believe that sex is the way God
keeps us penetrating the material that can
be stuck in our Cracks.
I do not believe it is possible to enter another
person's body, and not have your Life all stirred up.
That is the purpose of Sex--
To make us Pregnant with new Life
in one form or another.
So mention of her words this week, "there are no guarantees"
started to trigger me.
Judith was pointing out some deep growth
that is constantly being asked of me.
Sex for me is one of the powerful sensual and
ecstatic peaks that is humanly possible and an affirmation
of connection to the divine. It can be an experience
of intense God energies flowing through us.
For me, there is always the tendency to want my partner to
be more that a human being, to be more than a vehicle for the
divine flow.
Through Sex we can get in the flow--but our partner is
not a thing--a thing to hold on to as if they are the
Foundation for our existence.
Many of us--
have lots of work to do.
What is the balance?
Truly, mastery of Life
can come through this exploring.
I have to constantly be reminded about my inner divinity,
and keep working to rewire my God Ladder in a way that
I know what is Up and what is intended to be an experience
for the Here and NOW.
Best Friend, gratefully, is a woman who reminds me
to be my own Rock.
I am forced to remember, in the face of everything that
feels now like it is falling and shifting, that the anchor
that allows me to serve in this world is based on a vertical
alignment with the inner rungs of my God Ladder.
On the face of it--
that sounds like a head trip to me.
I am not sure I will ever relate to the flow of God
as anything of the head or intellect.
I had enough of that from force fed religion.
For me God energy flows through all living things.
My constant challenge is to allow the connection
and keep remembering with Love Cure #4 says:
"It helps knowing I am in it for the growth,
my growth. I know my life is about my Soul
and how my Soul grows through knowing you."
For me, my Soul is already in perfection.
My service to this world is bringing my Soul here
because
"The Earth and the Soul are Soilmates."
Praise the feminine!
Praise my own courage to take the ride
of a lifetime through riding the waves
that lead to God being born in this world.
May the Collective be served
through my pains and pleasures,
personal and yet universal lessons for all of us.
May all men and women remember their own
divinity through the gift of intimacy.
May I continue to be a vehicle for such growth
and celebrate Woman and My Rising.
Your EG
Leslie
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