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Fat is Ugly
Early morning inspirations
about Soul Foods, Judgements
we have on ourselves,
and the Soul we are.
Date: 5/24/2006 9:27:41 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3037 times 5:44 AM
May 23, 06
Woke up in a nightmare,
a reoccurring nightmare.
I am before a group being
called to do a poetry reading.
I am very talented by nature
and rely on this natural talent.
I have been rushing.
I have not been paying attention to details.
I have been doing too much.
I have tons of poetry I could read
but I forgot my books of poetry at
home.
I start reciting some poems
I have memorized.
I imagine I can wing it.
I forget the words
half way through.
I feel stupid.
I get scared because I
feel like a failure.
I wake up.
Thank God, I woke up.
I was suppose to Wake Up.
We are all suppose to Wake UP.
We are not intended to live in a nightmare
of any kind.
What is the Real Game????
We are each an unbroken wholeness in flowing movement.
We are Artists of the Beautiful.
The Beautiful is Godly.
Divine in Origin.
We are Divine in Origin.
We are of God.
Unbroken Wholeness in Flowing Movement:
This is to be in the Garden.
This is to be the Garden.
This is to be Man and Woman in the Garden.
Unbroken Wholeness: This is Consciousness itself.
How is it we Fall from the Garden?
The Earth and the Soul are SoilMates.
How do we Fall from the Garden?
Where is the break Up?
Where is the Crack UP?
Where do we get stuck?
So many of us here want to cleanse.
We want to get rid of something.
We want it out of here.
We do not see that there is something
deeper that the physical thing we are attempting
to cleanse.
We each have Emotional Toxins undernearth
behind the Physical Toxins.
Emotional Toxins:
These are buried in the Crack.
These are the things we are Avoiding.
These are the things buried in the Tissues.
These are the things we are wanting to cover up.
These are the things that we use Fat to Cover over
to protect us from seeing.
What are my emotional Toxins
revealed this early morning?
What are my buried feelings,
stuck, keeping me dead????
"No one calls back..."
"I will be deserted."
"I will be abandoned..."
"I will live, high and happy,
in pleasure and pleasued,
in the garden, then
I will get kicked out..."
"I won't survive."
"No one has TIME for me."
Bradshaw spoke of how we can go into a room
and if there are 20 people in that room, we will choose
the person who has the same patterns as we have.
When I heard him say that, I thought maybe there was
something Wrong with us that we do this.
NOT.
We choose the person with the same pattern,
because we need to see ourselves...we need
a mirror. We need someone who is so like us
that we can see ourselves in the mirror...and finally
Wake UP.
I am aware this morning:
I choose things likely to fail.
I choose difficult relationships.
I take on diffrcult relationships
that will likely fail
or cause friction or tension
that brings up my STUFF
and I do this so I can get over
my judgements that there is such
a thing as failure. IT is all good.
It is all Vital and Alive, if we can
learn to Live with it, through it,
to Love it as it is. TO Love him and
her as they are.
This means learning to love ourselves
first.
Bingo: The Stuff needs to come up and out!
This Stuff needs to be Cleansed.
The Stuff is the Emotional Toxins
buried undernearth.
The Stuff is the Stuff that makes us Fat.
Emotional Judgements:
"Fat is Ugly!"
"I am Ugly because I am Fat!"
I need to go on a juice fast so I can loose my Fat!
I need to cleanse and do raw so I can get rid of
this Fat."
"Something is wrong with me the way I am!"
"I am bad!"
"I am wrong!"
"I am not O.k. the way I am!"
NOT.
This is just more of the stuff we tell ourselves.
This is all tied in with the emotional toxins.
The Essenes ate raw because they were in the desert,
and raw goes well with living in the desert.
The Essenes did not eat raw because they thought they
were Ugly or Fat, or because they imagined
there was something wrong with them.
They ate Raw because they wanted to LIft Up
the Temple, this Body, that it become a Container
for the Living God. The Living God is your own Soul.
The Essenes, the Raw Foodists of their day,
ate Raw, because they knew they were Souls.
Jesus Wept, Dr. Bernard Jensen would say.
It is the shortest line in the Bible.
He wept and then he got over it.
How come he could get over it so fast???
It wasn't that he did not feel his feelings,
but he could get through them fast.
He knew he was a Soul.
He knew he was a part of God.
He knew he was Divine in Nature.
Holy=whole.
The word education comes from "Educare,"
Jensen would say.
"Educare" means going within.
Why do we go within?
We go within to reclaim the Soul,
to become Aware once again that we are a living Soul.
I do not like the word "Consumers."
We are not "Consumers."
We are not even "Shoppers."
We are not "Provender"
We are not Commercial Commodities
intended to be sold as Commercial Commodities.
We are not facts and figures, here to earn money to feed
some big mega thing, provide money for someone,
and then die unnoticed, as one more fact or figure
on someone's bottom line.
We are Souls.
We matter.
We deserve Soul Food.
We deserve Food that is out of the box.
We are not intended to be boxed,
folded, stapled, or mutilated
nor is our food.
The original meaning of the word "Plastic"
meant flexible, moldable. It was a word with Soul.
Take away the Soul and we have evolved Plastic
into something that we use to move strawberries
from place to place so we can make "Provender"
out of them.
It is so much easier to not see the ripe berries
and pick up the familar strawberries that come to us in plastic.
This is so more convenient.
This is something common
and expected,.to find commercial
strawberries in plastic.
" Mere provender" is a phrase Thoreau used
to mean commercially accessible,
Soul less.
We are delicate.
We are loveable.
Judgements such as calliing ourselves names
for being this or that, are just tips on the iceberg
of our stuff that wants to come out and be cleansed.
IT is the stuff in our Cracks,
the Cracks breaking us up from seeing wholly and seeing that
we are the One Unbroken Wholeness in flowing movement.
Nothing is wrong with us.
We are beautiful the way we are.
There is nothing that a little Love cannot heal
if we are open to love and be loved.
What is all this stuff about Indigo kids.
or Crystal kids? We are all Holy Children.
Every Child is Holy.
A little boy came over my garden the other day.
He was not all in this world.
He got down in the soil and starting kicking.
the dirt around. That was his way to garden.
I put a lovely rose on the table for a mother.
Within ten seconds the little boy
who looked off into the distance was tearing
out the petals. None of us called him names.
We did nothing but love that little boy.
I did nothing but love that little boy.
I wasn't going to make him wrong.
I wasn't going to call him names.
I wasn't going to say stop it, like
other adults yelled into me when I was a kid.
We ate. The table was full of food.
The young boy was eating with his fingers.
Then he came over to me, and felt
good energy, so he wanted to touch me
in his own way. He knew I was safe.
I was thinking of his little hands full of food on my
nice white T-shirt and my clean favorite shorts.
I just loved him. I was thinking, I can always
wash this T-shirt. This little lovely boy
is wanting to touch me. I wasn't going to
yell at him the way my Father yelled at me
and created stuff that later would become
emotional toxins
stuck
stuffed
behind calling myself either too skinny
or too fat
or planting some seed in me
that fat is ugly
or I am ugly.
I once had a lover in my life who felt she carried
a lot of extra weight when we met.
I loved the "hell" out of her.
She is the most beautiful Soul.
I loved her fully.
I loved her completely.
I loved all of her.
She started to drop the pounds.
She asked for what she wanted.
It was my joy to love her and be loved by her.
She inspired one of my greatest poems,
"My Goddess Prayer for You," one of The Seven
Love Cures. We are still best friends
15 years later.
Fat is not Ugly.
Food...Food...Food
what are we doing with our Food????
It is so simple to make profits
when our Food is sanitized...
sterile...
hygenic..
conventional,
easy to ship.
has no ants
grows somewhere else.
Then we can just ship it
1000's of miles...it is so easy
to do business this way, but it is a Soul less
way and it is breaking down
because that System that does it this way has
Cracks, and these Cracks cause Global Warming
and other things.
The Ripe, fresh picked organic strawberries
I brought into Whole Foods
the last four Sundays were not sanitized.
They were not in plastic boxes.
They were not covered over.
They were so alive that some of them
keep falling out of the Super high pint containers
onto the floor.
I took the few that fell into the bathroom,
washed them,
and ate them myself.
These strawberries are Soul Food.
They were growing in the soil
of Holy Land that very morning.
They did not even know they were picked yet.
They were food from the Promised Land.
They deserve you, and you deserve them.
They were thoughtfully carried to the marketplace.
They were carried to the Farmers' market
by Joe the Farmer and his family.
I picked them up from Joe
and delivered them to the Whole Foods
about one mile from the FM these past four Sundays.
Thoreau says, via Dr. Bernard Jensen,
"A ripe berry never reaches Boston.
He said, that never, as long as Eternal Justice reigns,
will a ripe berry reach Boston."
I set out to defy Eternal Justice.
I set out to bring a ripe berry, if not to Boston,
well then into Whole Foods
because the Word is the Thing,
and these are the Highest of the Whole Foods
you can get in this here and now.
It is so much easier to have antless berries.
boxed. Picked four days in advance.
Plasticized for some abstraction
called the "Consumer"
who will pay down his money,
go home,
and not know the what has been left out,
missing.
The Soul is missing.
Doctors! Doctors!
Products! Products!
Everything needs to be registered.
Approved.
A doctor needs to go to school until
he has paid his dues.
Until he is well boxed, and all the round edges
are cut off and he can fit in a nice sanitized box
where no more ants are crawling.
He has to prove he has no Soul,
and it is not uncommon that he will have a marriage
that needs help.
Soulless doctors are on the way out,
have you noticed?
You and I started to spend our money
on alternatives. The Hospitals started to lose
money and go out of business, so suddenly
they wanted to incorporate alternatives.
The Hospitals are ending up with Soul,
and the doctors are reclaiming their Souls.
I have been lucky to have some of them operate
on me. I would not be walking today if I had not
found their mercy and compassion
and lived in this wonderful country
that deep down was started by Founders that
had Soul.
So that is why I did it.
That is why I took the time to attempt
to bring a locally grown strawberry into Whole Foods.
I did it because there are moments when
I know I am a Soul and that you are a Soul
and that we are meant to live as Souls
and I know we all need Soul Foods.
Your EG
6:31 AM
Not Edited,
Just the Way I wrote it down...
5:48 PM
draft three
10:16 PM more edits.
BLOGS in this series:
OTHER BLOGS
in THIS SERIES:
The True Cost of Our Food:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1654
Why Fresh Picked:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1613
Local Harvest:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1595
The Greatest Food of All
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1591
Some thoughts on the costs
of doing local in San Diego.
Organic Conversion,
The Power in an Organic Strawberry
transformed Anthony Zolezzi's Life:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1517
Strawberry Survey:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1577
Herbicides on Strawberries:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1585
Strawberries as Aprodisiacs:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1589
Garden Magic!
Preliminary Results
of my experience bringing
Super Ripe, Locally Grown
Organic Strawberries into Whole
Foods Market are reported here:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1587
The story starts here:
Religious Experience at Whole Foods Market:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1558
Store Wars Revisited:
wonderful five minute video
for the OTA on the Organic Rebellion...
snoof using Star Wars Characters:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1653
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