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Radical Healing # 2
I want to leave a trail
of a day in a personal history
of peace on earth.
This is a summary of my
Passover Journey '05.
It descibes moments
of deep Radical Healing.
I have spent a lot of time
today writing this.
It describes personal Journey
of Awakening.
Date: 5/3/2005 2:11:36 PM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1401 times I have spent a lot of time
today writing this.
It describes personal Journey
of Awakening.
I want to leave a trail
of a day in a personal history
of peace on earth.
____
This morning
I have a sense I am coming
out of the desert.
I am returning from a 40 year journey
of Awakening. There is a long journey
ahead, but I will be experiencing
First Fruits in a deep way by June 12
of this year.
"I've been waiting half my life
to tell somebody about Leslie Goldman.
Always figured I'd wait for some desperate
moment. Now. it's here." --Bob Baker,
Los Angeles Times Magazine.
___
Behind Your Enchanted Gardener
is an Mystical oriented Essene Minister
who partakes in many Worlds.
The Essenes are a lineage of Prophets.
In every Jewish household that did a Seder
this year, they leave the door open of
Elijah.
Elijah is in the Essene Lineage.
Elijah had a School of Prophesy at
Mt. Carmel.
In Essene School of Thought teachings,
it is also known that Elijah becomes
the John the Baptist, another prophet.
The Elijah, it is said, foretells the coming
of the Messiah.
Is it any wonder then, that he incarnates as
John the Baptist, who again proclaims
the coming of the Messiah????
This is my personal and Soul lineage
to participate in this Stream,
and in these times,
it can only happen as we enter the CureZone,
for the Holy Temple of old is now the Temple
of our bodies.
I am here to proclaim this and enbody this
on my Wounded Healers Journey.
My Passover--the Journey out of symbolic enslavement--
included two Mystically inclined Seders--
--The first day of Passover, I arrived
at the home of One Sarina.
In route, I stopped at Lovers.
It was the first time I had seen her
since October.
Day two of Passover, was the second with
a community of Spiritually Inspired
Sensualists that included uplifting Song, Rituals,
and ceremony
Lover was there. She left,
and then,
it ended with Goddesses in the Holy embodiment
of Miriam the Prophetess, froliking bare breasted
in a pool.
That eve I was with Lover.
It was the first day of the Counting of the Omer,
The energy of Chesed in Chesed...
Loveingkindness in Loveingkindness.
For me this was a 2- hour deeply felt heart opening
and healing moment filled with a wide range
of emotion and feeling
with my (as she names it)
"on again/off again Lover"
who I consider a soul mate.
(What do Soul Mates Do:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=195 )
On the late morning of
the Third day of Passover,
I honored I visited the Frog Woman of Seal Beach
and her family, and overstayed my welcome
by spending the night, I am sad to say.
On the fourth day, I traveled north to stay
in the home of Enchanted Garden
Sponsor Judy Levy, one of the leaders of the
Women's pleasure movement
She inspires women to truly care
for themselves and their needs
and fully enjoy life.
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=194
Here I wrote through the night,
setting intentions for The Seven Love Cures
in book form. I was inspired by her
incredible garden.
She "blames" me for the inspiration for that garden.
Then years ago, or more, I gave her one little
Aloe Plant that now had 20 others.
Her whole hillside is magical.
While there, I visited with the spirit of John Lennon--
"Imagine" That!!!!!.
Judy is deeply kin to the Beetles energy.
There are Beetles memorabilia around
her beautiful three story home.
I got high taking photos of
incredible Goddess art. and her garden.
http://www.loveboutique.biz/judys_story.php
From here on the fifth day of Passover,
I Moved on to niece
Eva's apartment in the highly
multi-cultural Pico Robinson
area of Los Angeles.
Eva was raised in the Orthodox
Jewish tradition. She is the daughter
of my sister Vivian.
She has defined Orthodox Jewish practices
that still stand. She is very loving.
I am closest to her of all my sister's children.
In her neighborhood, I experienced a power-packed
melting pot of Blacks, Persians,
Russians, Various Jewish Sects--
and more--all living in the same
neighborhood WITHOUT Practicing
the tools to make community
between the "Tribes."
I find this potentially dangerous.
Parking on the street there
felt unsafe.
It brought up discomfort for the EG Mobile
and its belongings.
Everyone in this neighborhood has
metal bars on their windows and super
locks. I actually felt safer behind the bars!!!
At home, we do not even have a locked keys
to our door!!!!
On the Fifth day of Passover,
I went to spend a day with my
Orthodox Father Solomon.
I have already Blogged on some of this.
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=204
We began our meeting with a sense of destiny.
There are prophesies in Jewish Mysticism
about the healing between sons and fathers.
I knew we were about that.
I felt anger arriving from Childhood Trauma
I have written about in my Blogs.
My heart melted being with him.
He is getting into those frail years.
I felt so much love, during this
a week for Loveingkindness.
I asked him to harvest some of my barley seeds
that I had grown for the healing of the Jewish people.
See:
Keeping my Appointment with Reb Zalman
http://www.lesliegoldman.com/Heart&Soul/id45.htm
and:
http://lesliegoldman.com/Essene_School_of_Thought/id42.htm
The whole time with my Father was deeply healing.
We seldom spend time together.
For backround on this,
go to:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=140
We walked over to the SIlent Movie
on Fairfax Avenue--one block away
and we took photos of each other.
This is a place where I would fiind respite
and solace as a teen during the years
right after my mother died.
http://www.silentmovietheatre.com/specialevents/specialevent.f.htm
Then, we walked a couple doors down the street.
We discovered a very special highly conscious
Tea House with excellent Feng Shui.
The Rooibos Tea House, located a few stores down
from the Silent Movie Theatre,
alos celebrates the Feminine and African
culture.
http://www.africanredtea.com/
The Tea Store is located
at 533 N. Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90036
The phone is 877.564.0770
While in the store I experienced more healing
with my father.
I had him read out loud "Your Creation"
out loud.
This is one of The Seven Love Cures.
I told him about my recent success
with Mark Victor Hansen at the MEGA Book
Publishing University. We took time to use
my Sharpie to write a note on the back of
"Your Creation" to send to my Aunt Rita, his sister,
who is now in the USA. She lives in Israel.
It was Aunt Rita who took me to see
Dr. Bernard Jensen for the first time
right out of college.
She interfered, in a prophetess way,
with the direction of my entire life.
At the Rooibos Tea House,
I made a new friend named Nira from Yemen.
one of the co-owners.
She invited me to come back to do a poetry reading.
I intend to do that reading around or near June
12, the time of Shavuot.
I will launch The Seven Love Cures
then, right in my old neighborhood.
For more on The Seven Love Cures See:
http://www.lesliegoldman.com/Worlds_Greatest_Lovers/id74.htm
I have visions, as well, that when it is time,
that I will bring out The Seven Love Cures in a big way--
The book that goes with Th Seven Love Cures.
I will do a performance on the stage
of the Silent Movie Theatre
This theatre hosts Hollywood type coming out parties.
(Wow!!! I want Lover to be part of this...feeling this now...)
After visiting the Rooibos Tea House,
I ate something in my dad's apartment
while Ida, my stepmother, was nearby.
From here I wanted to Blog on the events of the day.
I was into the Fairfax ReUnion energy.
I got clearance to spend some time in the Fairfax
High School library.
I needed a Security pass to get in.
The school was in lock down--on this the day
of an Open House in the eve. The School, 98% Jewish
in '65, is now 50% Hispanic. The Hispanics were
squaring off with the Black students. There was a near
riot.at lunch on the very day I visited.
I looked over the old Class of '65
yearbook. I revisited some uplifting as well as painful
relationships, retracing my steps, and ffilling in missing
pieces. They had an old stack of our newspapers from that
year. I wrote a few of those stories in the paper.
I did not have time to go through the papers.
When I left, I went out the side gate back to my father's house.
I was in a state of reverence for life.
Ida, who was a main character in the drama of
the creation of my arthritis, started to act out.
My father and Ida live as total and complete packrats.
I mean total. Other than small small spaces
to sit and parts of beds, every surface is covered
with piles and mounts of old papers and what nots.
There were fruit flies swarming on the table.
My father was getting unset attempting to swat
them, but he could not see the source.
I asked if he needed help.
Ida said, "That is enough from you!
You have gone too far!"
I almost said something. I just sat on it,
but it erked me.
See:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=218
Following this episode,
I wanted to get to the Farmers; Market at Third and Fairfax
to mail that plaque of "Your Creation" from the Post Office
there. I used to spend a lot of time in this Post Office
when I lived in the neighborhood. I would buy
stamps here for my collection each Friday, and read
the Classic Comics--short versions of literature--
here on Saturdays.
(Wow! I can taste that in my mouth...how interesting!)
It had healing import to mail that from
there.
I also wanted to see Dani, the 17 year old. who touched
my heart and spirit. She works at the FM.
Before I left my Dad, we sat outside.
I opened up the conversation about what I was asking of him:
I told him clearly that if he wanted me to fulfill the rituals
of prayers for the dead for him when he died, I was asking that
he fulfill the rituals of honoring our father-son relationship
while he was alive.
I asked that he put me--for the first time in my life and his life--
ahead of work.
I have already Blogged on this here:
Then, I went to the Farmers' Market.
My father had warned me of traffic, but there was no
traffic between his house and there--I had Angels
crowding my steps, if anything.
I felt this was a day of destiny.
At the FM, the only parking space that was available
was RIGHT in FRONT of the Dog Bakery, the store
where Dani works.
I went in and asked for her.
I Blogged about this already here:
The Post office no longer existed, but the mail box
was right in front of the Dog Bakery. I bought stamps,
had some fun with the young people sitting outside
of the Dog Bakery, bought some fresh papaya and blackberries,
gave some flowers away, and then left.
I passed tthe All Seeing Eye of CBS...at the corner...
I grew up under that ALL seeing EyE.
When I left there I was hungry.
I shopped at Erewhon natural foods a few blocks away.
Right where I would play as a kid, and right near
where that man was murdered.
I went in looking for Kissing My Face Shaving Cream,
but they did not have it. I bought some Sushi,
I was very hungry.
Kiss My Face Blog:
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=209
I had in mind to go back to Shule--the Synagogue
and bring the barley there. I had in mind to spend
time with Marcia and her radically orthodox Fundamentalist
husband--a kind-hearted man toward me--but this did not happen.
They were not home. I went back twice.
I was getting tired.
So I went on to Whole Foods and ate some more,
and looked more for Kiss My Face. They also did not have it,
but found out that the Whole Foods near Sarina did.
In route back to Eva's I drove down Melrose
passed the Bodhi Tree Bookstore, and then up Robinson.
It is an amazing journey of Awakening just taking this
ride.
The whole neighborhood around Fairfax feels under seize.
Many store fronts have bars on the windows.
There are gangs now in the neighborhood I hear.
A man was murdered a few blocks away--right in the
area of the Farmers' Market at 3rd and Farirfax.
The murderer was still on the loose.
Then traveling up Melrose, the energy changes.
Thare are crowds up people standing outside
restaurants, milling and waiting for a seat.
There are shops enviting customers with
superfluous income beyond anthing imaginable.
Then you turn up Robinson and you are driving
through Beverly Hills, and more of the land of the
Have's vs. the Have Nots.
I could feel shifts inside me just
passing from street to street.
Amazing.
When I arrived at Eva's I was tired and irritable.
I wanted to get on her slow internet.
I was disappointed that I had not been able
to meet with her sister Marcia and that family,
but a whole the day was extraordinary.
I could not help but share my insights that
the city that I saw--the city of Haves and Have Nots
was gearing up for an explosion of social release
as fundamentalists, gangs, and oblivious "Have's"
clashed.
The summer I graduated from Fairfax, was the summer
of '65. This was the summer of the Watts Riots,
a time when stores and neighborhoods were burned
to the ground.
I remember walking on Fairfax Ave back then,
Fairfax near Pico, and smelling cinders from
miles away.
I had this deep sense, as a graduate of the Class of '65
that our class, now in their 50's needed to go back
to Fairfax High School and have a positive influence
on the youth.
I had a sense that LA this melting pot, needed to
become a conscious melding pot and that I as other
times in my life could provide some inspiration.
I saw myself giving a talk at Fairfax High.
Here is a site the Watts Riots of '65,
that occurred the year I graduated high school.
I sense L..A. is in for another kind of explosion like
that with so many people of different kinds living together
without harmony.
If I had a say, I would motivate the affluent to reach out
to the poor for their own safety. The scism between have and have
not's is intense in L.A.
http://teaching.arts.usyd.edu.au/history/hsty3080/3rdYr3080/www%20project/phy...
While I was there, I gave a copy of Survive This Day
to the Library.
I knew the Jewish People needed this Health work of
Dr. Bernard Jensen very much.
http://lesliegoldman.com/Bernard_Jensen/id30.htm
I felt on that day--that day of April 28, 05, as if
I had returned from 40 years wandering in the desert--
as Moses, and that now was the time that I was finally
maturing. I had a sense that truly I could rise above
my own personal pain to heal the pain of the city
where I was born.
If anything, Homeland Security type support is not going to solve
the conditions I sensed. Only love, social action programs, and
deep concern will do that.
Friday morning, the sixth day of Passover,
I did writing at Eva's, and then
rushed out to get up to the Passover Retreat
in Malibu.
I stopped to buy the Kiss My Face on the Way.
The Passover Retreat was extraordinary.
I will write more about that this week.
All weekend I kept thinking what a perfect
environment for Lover. She would have really enjoyed
that scene. I was thinking maybe next year.
It was just her speed. Sarina said the same thing.
Sunday, before the retreat ended, some core issues
came up for me about the will of community and my place in it.
The issue of respecting other's boundaries also came up,
and the balance between Chesed--loveingkindness and Gevurah--
setting limits.
I have much to learn here about this balance.
Then, I came back to Sarina to check my emails and phone
messages.
I called Lover.
I left messages for Lover, imagining this as an option--see her
on the way home.
Then, I read my emails.
There was a very angry email from her.
She said she felt violated because I had
reprinted one of her posts on her forum site
to my site. There were two posts...one where
she wrote about her heart opening to love,
and the other, talking about our five year relationship.
I can understand her point of view.
It would have been better if I asked for permission first.
I had moved forward, as I do many times,
with unbridled creativity.
My Chesed--Gevurah--and many more aspects of the Tree
of Life were not in balance within me.
I drove home.
At home there were a number of phone messages from Lover,
saying she did not trust me, nor did she want our relationship
to be on the internet.
This perhaps contradicts some of the things we already had
said to each other, but in any case, I was insensitive, moved
too fast, and I feel apologetic.
Today we are in Gevurah week of the Tree of Life.
There are many things I will accomplish,
and many intentions set in place for the next six weeks.
I spent this morning reading
Rabbi Ted Falcon's book A Journey of Awakening.
Kabbalistic Meditations on the Tree of Life.
I will be giving you some preliminary work
on these Tree of Life Teachings in other Blogs to come.
The Essenes were practitioners of the Tree of Life.
The Kabballah was to them the Science of Life as
interpreted through the right brain.
The holiday of Shavuot comes 49 days after the Second
Seder of Passover. Passover represents the exodus
from Egypt.. Egypt means Mitzrayim.
Rabbi Falcon says in his book, "The tight or stuck places
for which Mitzrayim (Egypt) is a metaphor exist within the self,
to be discovered as we grow.
Spiritual Awakening requires releasing ourselves from our
inner enslavements to old patterns, old self-definitions, old beliefs."
(P.3).
We are not in the second week of the journey of weeks.
This is the week when we look at Gevurah.
He writes, "Gevurah provides the stuff of our dreams
and of our nightmares both. This week, we focus
on the forms of our feelings, noticing and celebrating
the polarities they bring.
There is no need to resist any feeling, because
when feelings are more fully accepted,
they reveal themselves and then shift."
(P.55).
I highly recommend that you get a copy of this
book so you too can participate fully in the
Journey of Awakening, open to all of us
regardless of spiritual tradition.
For an intro See this Blog:
Mystically Inclined!!!
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=219
You can order from the link on this page,
right column:
http://lesliegoldman.com/Essene_School_of_Thought/id42.htm
Thanks to witnessing to my journey.
Your Enchanted Gardener,
Leslie
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