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Horrible Nightmare Got me Out of Bed
Horrible Nightmare Got me Out of Bed
Date: 3/26/2013 9:36:34 AM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 747 times
Horrible Nightmare Got Me Out of Bed
Just had the most horrible nightmare that got me out of bed to write this. I went to a city a distance from home. The topic must have been important to me. I could not connect with other attendees. This so immensely frustrating.
The timing and everything else was off.
I am a person that thrives on connecting with others, and conferences are my forte. Magic happens for me in large groups, and I am a natural speaker when I am in front of groups.
The best thing is when I am empowered by the organizers of a conference.
In my history I have been a Master of Ceremonies.
I was once the organizer of the Closing Ceremonies for the Whole Life Expo, a show that at one point in the late 80's or early 90's that was very popular and made a significant difference in raising consciousness in So Cal.
In my history, I have had many opportunities to participate in similar ceremonies and have a deep impact on those there. I have been able to crystalize, express, and inspire large groups, sometimes within the smallest time frame of minutes, either with a bulls eye message, or communicating some kind of message that I felt needed to be said about what made this moment so very unique in time.
It is a sacred moment when a group gets together, especially around the turning of the seasons, or for an annual event.
I have had this great honor to play this role in my city over a period of more than 30 years.
In this dream, at this conference in a distant city, I had this experience where I was in the wrong place at in the wrong moment.
I did not know where the event were happening.
I could not register the names of the people. I was trying very hard to know who the people were. They were doing something very, very important.
Then, in one final scene of the dream, we were in a circle. I was in the circle too.
I still could not hear the names of the people. I finally made contact wth the woman who was sitting next to me.
The circle broke, but we continued to talk. She was with another woman.
I told her that I was willing to stay an additional day, just so I could connect with the group and participate in the meeting where they evaluated.
As we sat together, she finally told me some wonderful things about herself that had meaning. She said she had done a mission in a Spanish country. She said she she spoke Spanish. As I looked at her, she became transformed.
This is what happens when a group really connect. Have you noticed that? Strangers suddenly look different. A community of friends is born! Lasting memories are made, and connections that give the basis of fulfilling dreams.
This lady I had finally had a breakthrough. She told me her name. I was so excited! I did not have the correct catagory in my iPhone so I turned to C and started to write her name. I misspelled it a couple times until I believe I got it right.
I was starting to feel as if all the energy and frustrating would be replaced with hope and belief that this time had been spent well.
They, I was pulled again at a distance. I could see her attempting to scurry off. We had agreed to speak later. She was open to me participating in the teardown. I did not have her phone or any way to continue the conversation that we had initiated.
I was going to ask if there was anyone in this community who could host me for the night in this strange place so I could come to these meetings where I could give feedback about what they had to improve, so others could connect with them.
I finally caught up with her. I opened my Iphone, but I was in confusion about where I put here name. I believe I finally started to see it to add her phone, but she was leaving. I was so stressed in that moment, that her name and identity was again unclear as I looked at this name.
I wasn't sure. The time was fleeting. She was in a rush to leave. She had indicated that she wanted to continue to connect, but I could not get the information that was needed to make that possible.
I was so frustrated. I was in mental pain about this.
I woke up and could hear myself murmuring sounds of my high stress and pain.
I know this nightmare relates to a number of events that have happened recently. It also has something to do with this most intense and frustrating Winter of months where I felt locked into my body and could not relate to others.
During that time, I was in a very protective mode.
Every time I got around people, I felt I would catch something.
I started to protect myself.
It also related to two very powerful gatherings. We were in circle.
THe first gathering, there was a promise that we would all stay connected. We threw our cards in a pile. One person took responsibility for saying that would make a list and make sure we all stayed in touch. It was a powerful meeting. One of the most important to advance Label GMOs. It was at the Natural Product Expo West. How very sad that those connections were not followed up on.
I forgot too. I have not thought of this event, and the promise made and not kept.
I left that event with many promises I also made. There were so many opportunities. It was so healing after a long Winter, to go to this Expo, an event that represents the beginning of my season so to speak. I had a powerful time--even after such a devastating Winter. I left with so much to do that has not been completed or fulfilled.
Then, the following week, I made an immense effort to attend another meeting in a distant city. It was a great hardship to attend this meeting. I was not sure where I was going to stay. I just followed my inspiration, packed by car in a rush, and left, according to where I felt I needed to be.
When I got there, I did not know where I would stay, but it turned out to be in a neighborhood of a friend. I called and he and his wife offered me a place to stay and wonderful hospitality.
Oh, how grand.
The next two days, I had a place to rest my head. Again, it was an upward climb. I wanted to teach and be Uncle Leslie with the youth at Hami High School.
Two days I taught. Both days, I began being unsure of myself.
I had not taught for since last year. I wasn't sure I still had it in me to inspire, after such a long layoff and so many months of low confidence.
I had a powerful experience in the classroom both days.
I touched so many lives.
I moved my projects along, but again, I made promises. There were so many things to complete, and I did not have time to complete them yet.
There were so many important things that needed to be completed from two big event over two and a half weeks. So many things still undone.
Then, again, there was another outing that I wanted to attend.
It was last Saturday night. It was a Spring Equinox Event.
I prepared all day, but by the time of the event, both Nadine and I were exhausted. She said her heart was not into going.
I did not have the strength to go alone. The EG Mobile was having transmission problems.
It was having issues with shifting gears.
We worked through some stressful energies.
We finally got to the event.
It was like stepping into another nightmare.
There were entertainers who were doing what had overtones of Sacred Dance, but I could not feel the energy of the Equinox! I felt a separation between the audience and the performance. Events like this are not meant to be a performance. They are meant to be ritual and Sacred Ceremony.
I left with more clearing to do with one of the organizers.
Then, two more deep frustrations....
I am planning to go to the desert from my annual Passover Retreat.
My ability to go has been up in the air.
The EG Mobile is having a difficult time shifting gears.
Energy is not getting transmitted well. Transmission is still off.
There has been a big issue about getting the transmission replaced before heading to the desert.
There was a big issue about going to LA for the other gathering, but I went, even though I was having trouble shifting.
I made it! I went and came back safely, but the problem with the transmission was getting worse!
SO TODAY IS A BREAKTHROUGH DAY
So today is a breakthrough day.
This is the first morning of the eight days of Passover.
We come out of Slavery.
We come out of our constrictions.
For the next 50 days we enter a Journey of Awakening.
For me, I read daily meditations to help connect the worlds of my being from
peak experiences to grounding.
I am leaving so much incomplete as I prepare now to go to the desert.
So much communication and unfinished things are with me as I turn my attention to the desert.
This morning, I get to go to the bank to put in funds that will cover this extreme expense of the EG Mobile.
I will also drive the EG Mobile to the shop and leave it with Mike. This is a miracle that he received the part he needed--the New Transmission--so he can do the work this morning. He yard is full! He doesn't not even have room to do my repair, but this grounded mechanic so gives me so much will move other vehicles out of the way, so he can work getting me ready for this trip to the desert that means so very much.
COMPLETES
I have numbers of completes to do this morning. I need to prioritize.
I am leaving a lot undone still in shifting energy to go on this annual retreat.
To do this morning.
Practical:
Banking, do that first.
coordinate and organize my notebook if projects that need to be done.
(why am I resistant to doing this?)
Trust.
Read the First Meditation for the Fifty Days.
What Blogs can I take time to write?
Any energies to clear, or just accept that this dream being written is enough to transform the energies?
I was not feeling well yesterday. I still have some residues.
Do the most important things.
Communicate with K.
Dropbox would help....but there is learning involved.
I AM DOING TOO MANY THINGS TO DO VERY WELL AT ANY OF THEM
Spring...time to go vertical...from top to bottom rather than added more and more horizontal projects...
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