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To be or not to be here?
To be or not to be here?
Date: 1/8/2011 9:30:45 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 31533 times
Do the best with what you have.
These are words I would like to leave behind.
Perhaps someone reading this is stuck in bed right now.
Maybe you are crippled.
Maybe, you as i have used up a rain forest
of toilet paper with a bowel that would not stop,
or a persistent condition that kept you on the toilet
more than off for years.
I want to let you know that conditions
like that can improve. Mine have.
Perhaps you have bouts of what feels like
mental illness at times, where you realize you
were born to live in a different kind of world,
and the world you are living in here makes you ill.
It is possible to improve that world
and within yourself, among friends,
having the greatest of joy and satisfaction.
I call my life a gift.
I have made the most of it.
Had it not been for conventional surgery,
I would not be sitting today without pain.
My heart goes out to the hands of surgeons
who helped me walk again and to the amazing
masters of the natural healers arts who awakened
within me knowledge I already had inside.
THE NEXT THREE MONTHS
I cannot say if I will be on this land
three months from now.
My sense is, some of the things will still be here.
I sense I may have a new location where my bed is located.
I love my bed.
I love that there is room for another person in it.
I love the thick quilts, some goosedown,
one of Nikken material.
I have to say my life has been a blessing so far,
and in spite of all the hardship,
and the pain,
I am amazed that I was able to do so much.
I came for a purpose.
I am here to plant 1000 years of peace.
I am here to tell you that this millenium can be 1000 years of peace.
I am 63 years old.
A coach was telling me the other day
that when a person gets older, they are suppose to
grieve the loss of their dreams.
I feel some loss now. There is a good chance I will
give up this land where I had lived since 1982,
but I do not see my dreams ending.
MY SPIRITUAL FATHER WAS DR. BERNARD JENSEN
My spiritual father was Dr. Bernard Jensen,
an elder in the natural healing arts.
I did not meet him until he was 67.
Some of his best years were from 67-87.
I know there could be a part of my life
that has not even started.
There is a part of me that knows
the best is yet to come,
although this morning I do feel some grief
and sadness, that perhaps I have failed.
Dr. Bernard Jensen was a man who in later life took his own medicine,
more than he did in his earlier years.
He overcame cancer through natural remedies.
He beat the system as it stands now through
working with the beet.
He knew that through growing a beet in a pot,
a person could regain their beat with nature.
DREAMS LOST?
There is a part of me that has imagined that this land
would be the place where I would leave a legacy.
I thought perhaps it could be a place where students
from San Diego State University came for a real finishing school.
I thought it might be a place where students
and others could come to learn to garden, and
plant dreams, and enjoy some artifacts
that recorded a History of Peace on Earth.
FOR THAT TO HAPPEN
For this place to continue, it would need a Fresh Start.
Friend, our whole world now is needing a Fresh Start.
A Shift has happened.
We are all be called back to live our Soul Life
and get in touch with the Shift.
WE ARE IN THE GREAT EARTH CLEAN UP NOW
I want to spend today doing some clean up in my room.
One of my best allies at the Enchanted Garden Intentional Community
Growing Grounds was here last night.
She was railing me for the mess that Is in my room.
I have taken on a lot of projects.
It would likely take 144,000 or more people to carry some
of of these projects on to fulfillment.
I want the joy of going through some of these papers
today, and see if I can throw some things out.
I have a tendency to get depressed in times like these
when I need to let go. I get stuck in things
that seem important, little biz cards that
repesent contacts I wanted to make but never did
are a killer, but there is only so much one life
is intended to do.
I want to remember the good I have done here.
I want to thank this land for allowing me the gift
of friendship with trees and plants.
SOME ONE ELSE WILL HAVE TO INTERCEDE
If you want this place to stay here,
it is time for you to step up to the plate.
It is time for me to clean up. Someone else
needs to come up with the game plan,
someone else needs to be the manager.
A POEM FROM
REKINDLING OF FAITH
one of many books I have written here.
7:31 am
January 8, 2011
CREDO OF A COSMIC CHEERLEADER
I have determined to live
as a current in the stream of life,
as a grounding point for planting peace
in the body of one human.
I have resolved to include my messes
and heartbreaks as a record
in the history of peace on earth.
All the disorder around me,
no longer hidden, shows where
the dark corners of my being
are unshaped into my wholeness.
May the dead plants around me
be signs of the battles
I have waged within myself,
some won, some lost.
May my growing plants show arenas
where my green thumb has found unbroken meaning.
Lo be this erth the final day
there are no more messages around me,
when my last stitch
of paper finds its place.
It will not be a day of joy for everyone.
Comets will cross the sky.
Worlds will fall apart.
Planets will be born.
September 10, 1985
GARDEN MANAGEMENT JOURNAL
JANUARY 8, 2011
FROM AN EMAIL
On Jan 7, 2011, at 4:53 PM, Sanda Everette wrote:
On Fri, Jan 7, 2011 at 4:20 PM, Sanda Everette wrote:
Not to push, but I need movement. I called a couple of Greens
that I know in San Diego to ask them if they know any green realtors.
I think we may have just had an earthquake.
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