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Thinking the Worst of Me
Processing a momentary break in my
connection with Spirit, and then expressing
other ideas that I cannot say I know a second
after I write them. I will reread this later....
My brain is not all here, after days of
Symposium activity.
Date: 11/11/2009 11:29:31 AM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 1036 times
8:43 AM
November 11, 09
I was just in the middle of
capturing Brilliant Visions I want
to write down before they evaporate,
really, really, great stuff,
really, really, brillant stuff.
I need to start working with
a tool like a recording
when these come.
Some of the most brilliant of ideas come
right after I do a Symposium.
I am still surrounded by what feels like
the intelligence of the Universe.
These had to do with the house.
Then, when I read this conversation
in the hallway, it lowered by vibration
and they vanished into the ethers where
these Seed Dreams, not yet grounded
into words, live.
This is a common energy around the house.
This is the nature of the relationship with H,
who lives across the wall.
On some level, I sense this is a manipulation
rather than a direct communication.
She speaks below a loud voice, but loud enough
so that I can hear it.
I have a choice now to get into the human emotions
I am feeling now, of anger, and frustration,
or attemp to regain the Visions
that were so sweet and ephemerial.
She likes to have these little meetings with ANNA
in the hallway. Anna hears and goes into agreement,
and then they have a little laugh,
seemingly, what feels like, at my expense.
I believe the comment had to do with
a note on the board that I have not responded
to in days, due to other priorities.
It was among the brilliant thoughts
that I was going to comment on today.
The comment I overheard was a reference
that I have said in the past that I cannot read
things when they are written too high on the board.
H was saying, "well, I am sure he can read it at this level.
The underlying energy I imagine, was her wanting
to use her Scorpio dagger to stick me for not
taking action on what one other housemate
considered an Urgent matter that I did not
consider as urgent, but definitely something
to discuss and understand. Taking the action
as advised, would have taken me away from
more vital priorities at this moment.
I am going to comment on how I used my energy
on Monday unwisely. I wanted to fulfill a need
of CHEF JEM that I could have fulfilled today.
I did want to fulfill it on Monday to honor
his need and for community building.
I took time to get him a sprinkler from
CITY FARMERS NURSERY. I ended up not
going down to the PACIFIC SYMPOSIUM on Monday
as a result. There would have been a window
of opportunity.
I did not have the opportunity to receive
funds and appreciation after the Symposium
on Sunday. It was like I did six days of work
and the "Payday" so to speak, or the Gifts
to be returned, or the time given to others
to buy things, was not there. Monday and Tuesday
were more spacious down there.
By Sunday, many people were now aware of
who I was and wanted things from me.
Monday and Tuesday was the time
to Receive back monetarily for all I gave
the previous six days.
Tuesday, I went to acupuncture,
recording my acupuncture session of being treated,
had a meeting with JOSIE of LIFEWAVE and PAUL
who demonstrated the patches on me in the session,
stirred up energy for the patches at PCOM,
and then went down to the final hours of
the Post Conference session.
I got to the CATAMARAN around 3 PM.
The sessions were going until around 5:30 PM.
During those two hours, I was working methodically
following my spirit. I fulfilled great goals, as well
as unfulfilled Seed Dreams in the final two hours!
One beautiful man, saw me sitting eating lunch
at a time during his break. He wanted a copy of
YOUR CREATION, the poem I read in the FELICE DUNAS
HAPPINESS and SEX in TCM Workshop. This was
a very special encounter, and perhaps a friendship
potential with followup. He wrote me a check of
$75.00 for a set of these poems,
WORDS THAT MEN NEED TO KNOW
AND WOMEN WANT TO HEAR, THE SEVEN LOVE CURES.
He was a psychiatrist from New York.
He was also an M.D., and a licensed Acupuncturist.
I asked him to write me a note. The note was very esteeming.
I will reprint it later here. He found my poetry
very valuable and applicable to his personal life
and to his work. I was able to give him some counseling
in a few short minutes that he deeply appreciated.
I was reminded the great power in these truth telling words.
The $75.00 came so effortlessly, that I wondered
how many other $75.00's were right there if I had planned
my priorities differently.
It was very important to me to fulfill CHEF JEM's expressed desire
on Monday, especially since I was not going to be at the
"Convivial Communication" time set aside Tuesday to discuss
the kitchen. I was clear after the Monday ROOTS meeting
that I needed to be at UCSD for the WATER EVENT the
my ROOTS community team were doing. That would have
been a loss if I had not attended this time specific event.
I also knew I was leaving myself open to flack by missing
the Tuesday night meeting here, where others really wanted
me to be there.
I did say I would have a meeting with Chef Jem to participate
in the "Convivial Communication" this noon, or at 1 PM.
I need to check the timing of what I said.
DIANNA is scheduled to come over as well. at 2 PM.
I need to get better at keeping my Calendar
so I can continue to play at this level.
I am glad I am taking time to keep my fingers moving.
When I blog, I can shift my energy. I want to get elevated
again, and continue to capture the very special thoughts
before I move into other mundane realms.
I am following inspiration right now, as to what to
address next.
What to address next????????????
CONVIVIAL COMMUNICATION ON KITCHEN...
to be written...
The most expensive Sprinkler in the world...
Idea about how I used my time on Monday...
MEETING MARY ELIZABETH WAKEFIELD...
Leslie, put I note on the board so N
know, she is being heard now...
then, break to step outside.
Then, upload photos....that will jog your
memory. You did a Great Job recording,
better than ever.
WRITE about UC event.
Comments on the Panel,
and SHANNON OLIVER and JAROD ideas.
Roots agenda's went unexpressed.
We did not inform about future events,
from the stage. Maybe that happened
before I got there at the table????
Shannon also did not speak to the edu
that people needed re: local water issue.
I did not hear anything about the well mentioned.
I would have like to hear an invite to the Nov 21 potluck.
Shannon could have mentioned the name of BARRY LOGAN
rather than saying "my mentor" at the farm.
Shannon talked about breaking up cement to grow
food without asking...permission...that is more rebellious
and offputting that we need. Shannon was not up to speed
with local San Diego Sustainability progress because
he did not attend the BRIGHT GREEN FUTURE CONFERENCE
held in this room a few weeks ago.
At first, I thought maybe I had made the wrong decision
in taking time to attend this event at UCSD. Attending
did solidify more my relationship with JAROD of UCSD
ROOTS project. That was important.
I also was needing to Seed Dream a convergence
of students and a cross pollination between my neighborhood
SDSU e3's (Business-Ethics-Environment Club), and
the UC Sustainabiiity tribe.
Jarod also was not up to speed with the great
work being down on his campus, it appeared.
A pick up would have been showing the film
of UCSD Students, a five minute video that we
saw at the BRIGHT GREEN CONFERENCE when
a key speaker from UCSD spoke. There were millions
being discussed on this same stage a few weeks ago
with handouts of Recovery Funds. Here we were talking
about important Student Action Work. Both needed to
be in sync. The speaker from Coast Keeper made comment
about the funds for transporation that was discussed
at the BRIGHT GREEN CONFERENCE.
I was the only one representing a nature message
at the morning plenary at the Bright Green through my comments
at the mike.
[Leslie, follow up more!!! from BRIGHT GREEN CONFERENCE....!!!)
with the man who spoke and showed that film.
The youth need to be part of that Bright Green input.
The speaker from FOOD and WATER WATCH was 28 and
made a poignant comment about how the "Oldsters" were
out of touch with the youth. She had commented against
desalinazation at an LA meeting. I did not get her contact info.
Follow up, Leslie! Get her contact info from Jarod!
This feedback can come up at the ROOTS meeting at
OB PEOPLE's next Monday.]
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