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Today is the day!
The five aspects of my life I have to take control over.
Date: 1/2/2009 12:42:12 PM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 2855 times It is time that I take control of my life. I have allowed myself to sit in the passanger seat and not control the journey of mt life for to long. I could not tell you exactly when I moved form the driver seat to the passanger seat it's a blur. I know that right now at this moment I aM NOT content or happy with some of the choices that I have made. Talk is cheap though and now its time that I stop complaining about thing and start making changes. I made a list of all the things I felt I have lost control over and was not content. I came up with relationships, health, spirtuality, career, and finances. Today is the day I take back control.
Relationships- I am blessed to have some of the most caring and amazing people to call my friends and family. However, I have not nourished and taken care of some of my most precious relationships. I have honestly neglected some of my friends. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own life that I lose sight of others around me. However, the main relationship that I really have negelected is the relationship with my step son. I mean I talk a good talk acting as if I am really trying to be there for him. But in reality I have never really accepted him as my own. I can honestly say that I have been full of resentment. I wanted the perfect family and I blamed him because I did not have it. My husband is straight from the fair tales except he bought a son along with him. I hate the fact that another woman gave my husband his first child ( a son). I hate the fact that another woman will be apart of my husband life forever. I hate the fact that my husband has obligations in another household. For all of those reasons I have resented my step son. Everytime I look at him it's a reminder of all those things that I hate. With all that being said it's time that I face reality and take control. The reality is he is a wonderful little boy. He is my husbands child. I knew my husband had a son when I met him. My step-son did not ask to be in this situation. He did not ask for his parents to break up and for his dad to marry me. He is a child. A child that needs love and protection. I have never been abusive to my step son as far as physical or verbal. However, I think in a way I have been emotionally abusive by not completly accepting him. I smile alot and give him hugs, I tell him that I love him but I truly know that he see's right through me and my bull S***. I have to take control of this situation.
Health- I have never been this unhealthy in my life. I eat food as if it's going outof style. My whole life I was the skinny, small one. However in past six years I have been stedily gaing weight. It's to the point that I dont recognize myself. I am always tired. None of my clothes fit properly. I am in my mid twenties yet I have the body of someone much older. How did I lose control like this? I have to take conrol of this situation.
Spirituality- I know that the only way I am going to overcome all of this is through God. I have to reconnect with the Creator. Somewhere I lost the way and the only way home is through Jesus Christ.
Finance- I need to get my credit score up, pay all bills on time, get my 401k in order, and save a nice down payment so I can finally own my own home. I also need to set up a college fund for my daughter.
Career- I truly need to get a job that I love. I dont want to spend seven to nine hours a day doing something that is not fulfilling and enjoyable.
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