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Stepping Up to the Plate
Up in the middle of the night
getting clear. I will go up to
LA and do some ceremony work
at Peace Sunday. I am preparing
to get counsel from my closest circle of friends
to help me succeed in letting the word go
out about the Enchanted Garden.
Date: 12/8/2007 5:38:56 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 861 times
3:14 AM
December 8, 07
I never chose much of a father in this life.
My earth dad, Solomon, is a perfect selection
for a soul that was born to help uplift humanity.
Most souls that have uplifted humanity in our history
so far have been crackpots, at least within the Jewish tradition.
Our greatest prophets were abnormal.
That's what it takes to really push the envelope,
you have to get out of the box.
You have to live out of the box.
You have to take your Deepest Seed Dreams from out of the Silver Box.
That Silver Box gets most of us.
The Silver Box represents the desires we have,
the desire for sex,
the neediness for love,
rather than the acceptance that good sex and good love
is a natural part of being human.
I am sure I just lost a bunch of you.
I am not sure if you understand what I just said.
It is not the enjoyment of sex in itself that is the problem,
the problem is all the stuff that comes up.
The same goes for love. Love is natural,
but most of us, never got the love we needed as kids,
and so we do not have much practice receiving love as adults
or sharing love without going nutso crazy.
Generally two nutso crazy people get together
to mirror each other. That is one of the God's and
Mother Earth's greatest Gifts. Through the mirroring,
and through the process of separating from our
parents, we become someone who we ourselves can "get."
I was with my new friend Ron Nash a couple weeks ago.
We were in his music studio.
He wanted to introduce me to some of his closest friends
who all gahered for a holiday party.
Ron featured me to read one of The Seven Love Cures.
He said he "got me."
The question is...Do I "get myself?"
How to we come to get ourselves????
I believe the answer is choosing to realize
that we have chosing our nutso crazy parents,
and that we choose our nutso crazy relationships.
We choose these for our own good and for the good
of the other and for the good of the whole world.
Sometimes, the most important step we can take
is letting go of what is not working.
This takes a lot of courage.
This takes stepping up to the plate.
I have not talked to my father for at least four months.
I finally forgave him enough on the first night of chanukah
to call him and ask him to sing me a couple of Chanukah prayers.
I could summon that much forgivement for the insane behavior
we both expressed when we were together in August
that included some real acting out on both our parts.
The gift of that insanity back in August was that it gave me
the insight to see how nutso crazy my life was in relationship
to the women in my life.
My father treats my stepmother as if she is God.
He puts here above everything, including his children.
That is part of my inheritance. I saw I was doing the same.
I can easily make a false God out of the Woman I love,
and she can easily make a false God out of the man
she imagines she does not love....i.e, me.
I promised I was not going to write too much about that relationship
anymore, so let me just say, I accept she does not love me
the way I prefer to be loved by the woman I want to love deeply.
Moving on....that is what I am doing now.
Hurray!
Emerson said something that I have difficulty saying....
We hold on to our Angels without realizing that in letting go,
we create space for Archangels to enter.
There are a bunch of Archangels wanting to direct my life now.
They are leading me to a new circle of influence and friendships
that can help bring the Enchanted Garden into the world.
I, too, as Leslie need to step up to the plate.
What does stepping up to the plate look like for me?
It means calling in my Big Guns.
Edmond Bordeaux Szekely said that his books were like ammunition for peace.
My Big Guns are the Members and Sponsors within the Enchanted Garden Club.
This is my existing circle of friends who will answer my phone calls, and
respond to my emails when I say I need help.
It may take them a while. They are all busy, but they do return my calls.
I called William Spear about a week ago. He is one of my Big Guns
in this Life. He called me back seven days later--last night.
I was so confused in my energy that I was not clear enough to ask him
what I needed to know. I did ask him one thing...
who was that man who he told me about years ago that could
help me get the kind of orthotic shoes I need now.
My knee was hurting me last week. I walk around in sandals with socks.
I do not fit into normal shoes. I need some special shoes made.
This came up for me November 29.
I was at this Benefit at Steve Finley's estate.
It was cocktail attire. I felt I would be out of place in my sandals
but I got over it.
The point is...I am entering a new acceptance of myself
in various circles. I would like to have the appropriate attire,
including shoes that fit the situation.
Maybe I am stuck in the Silver Box, but that is how it looks now.
Stepping Up to the Plate: Part Two
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