Day 1 a week ago
Date: 10/27/2007 7:31:00 PM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 1374 times
Face mildly dry
Upper arm dry
Elbow joint inflammation, dry, slight wrinkling
Lower arm dry
Pelvis dry, mild inflammation
Knee caps mildly dry, inflammation
Back of knee joints dry, mild inflammation
Lower legs dry
Feet dry, wound healing looks good.
Metal state: stable and determined!
Emotional state: discomfort due to dryness but ok
Physical state: cold
Exercise: i hope I can go for a walk later if I can finish my revision
It is early afternoon and I just want to swing by and say hi to my journal. I feel hopeful ever since reading the explicit story by a eczema sufferer too. I was in GNC this morning and came across a "greens" mixture drink and was wondering if I should purchase one box after my fast completes, but that is still a while from now so i will KIV that option.
I have a lot to study today, aint quitting! I am reading Herpes Simplex right now. There are 2 subtypes HS1 and HS2, the former trasmitted through aerosol route or direct contact showing up with more clinical symptoms in primary and recurrent infections while the latter transmitted through genital route presents mainly in the primary infection. Neonatal infections are severe. Excuse my blabbering, just lubricating my brain cells with the material whilst on a break. Ok, back to it.
It is sometimes scary to be all alone fighting a problem that lies in my own body in the first place. There is a constant war that never ceases between the angel and devil and it is far easier to let the devil take over. The closest person to me in the world broke the most shocking news to me the evening before. Since it was something very private, I am not going to discuss it here, but it left me bereft, upset and speechless. I don't know which is worse, living a lie or being told that I am living a lie. As I sit here with the conversation running through my head over and over, I feel completely shitty and defeated. I knew it was long overdue I stopped believing in those childish fairy tales. And as I look at my skin, I am tempted to let the devil put me into a trance--to believe that I am on quicksand and there is nobody who gives me a hand to hold onto, so why not just resign to my fate and sink? Good things don't happen to sick people. Dreams don't come true for sick people.
It hurts so badly how much damage a sickness can do to life. Normal seems like an illusion. Obstacles are littered at every turn. And hope slips away. Until darkness completely descends and chilling silence hushes, I never realize how bright a light I glow from within. And I know the show must go on; I will go on and survive.
It has been an emotional day.
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