Are you bored? Bringing a child into this world is a MAJOR responsibility, not something undertaken because you are feeling unfulfilled or disenchanted with your life. I get the impression that this baby obsession of yours is your sole source of happiness right now, ‘thinking about it every second of every day’. That’s not healthy. One thing that's nice for a child to have is something called parents (notice the 's'). Not just a mom, but a mom and a dad together in a loving relationship. This isn't about you, this is about your child. You say you are entitled to have what you want, lady, you're not at Burger King here, okay? This is a new life force you are creating and raising, how? You claim to be religious, yet, only if it is convenient to your desires. The bible is pretty clear about this matter, don't try to spin God. You sound like you want a baby for you, you, you. You're not married, you say you will never marry again, you claim to have just broken up with "Your Guy" for good, and yet you still obsess about having a baby?! If you wait and trust in God it will all happen in due time, this isn't something to undertake lightly or to do fill an emptiness in your life, this is something done between a man and woman who love each other and are committed to each other for the long haul. SLOW DOWN!