"I've asked Soul dozens of times why I am so irritable and angry and the thought of children and family, and I think I keep missing the answer. Maybe my choices above are also infantile, but it feels the best at the moment [even though the negativity from these choices are rather strong. :/]

Have you ever considered that maybe you're asking Soul the wrong questions.

The Soul is under no obligations to answer questions of the ego.

Rephrase your question in such a way that the answer you get is not in words, but in feelings, like a gut feel. In a sense, that's what's already happening... You can literally feel the negativity that you're experiencing from your choices... right where it hurts the most.

Reframe your mindset with a positive expectation and attitude. This will make all the difference in the world in how you experience life, no matter the situation and outcome.

And take all advice with a grain of salt... Pink Hawaiian salt or Himalayan.

Give yourself your own approval, and seek no one else's. You are worth so much more than to supplicate to the ego of others, even the ones you admire.

Remember, you are loved, you are Love.

Reset, and Go.