I know what you mean in your post about being terrified to get on the scale.

I haven't weighed myself for years, saying "it's just a number, I'm more concerned with how I feel" then I'd go eat something horrible for me.

After 8 days juice fasting and a month of working out, I finally let them weigh me and found I was about 30 pounds heavier than I'd ever been. Holy moly. Was that a shocker.

Way to come out of the dark and into the light. That's a huge huge step. Keep it up and turn to these blogs and the community here as support when people around you bring stuff you don't want around...

Good luck! Keep drinking LOTS AND LOTS OF WATERS AND TEAS, keep yourself hydrated.