i too feel the same way... that situations and events take place that are beyond our control... why else... and why on earth... would there ever be such inexplicable circustances... sometimes i think the biblical story of "job" has merit... that we are being tried... perhaps the reasons for the trials are just to see what kind of reactions/emotions it will arouse within us... thus the feeling of co-creator that you are talking about... how we react... or allow these situations to affect us can reflect right back on us... so it would seem that we catch it from both ends... from within... and from without...

but actually i go along with your last statement... of letting go... of being detached... and just going with the flow... that is the state i would choose all the time... and i don't usually have any problems at all as long as i am alone... my difficulties seem inversely proportional to my involvment with those `i care about the most... and i still get the distinct feeling that the situations that present themselves are being manipulated by an invisible source/entity...

but my take on life is that we are spiritual beings... so we should always be seeking to learn... to be aware... to grow toward... to be of maximum service/love to God... ourselves... and to our fellow man... i would have to say that life is all about "love"... to feel it... to live it... to teach it... to pass it on...

there's a prayer by st.franscis of assisi... which i always strive to live by... but seems almost impossible... it some times seems achievable when all is going well... but it becomes a different story altogether when situations turn sour... still it is very good material to use for meditation...

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace -
that where there is hatred, I may bring love -
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness -
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony -
that where there is error, I may bring truth -
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith -
that where there is despair, I may bring hope -
that where there are shadows, I may bring light -
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted -
to understand, than to be understood -
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
Amen."