Hey there cheese rita I just wanted to comment about a couple of things in your blog. I want to say first that I am a recovering addict and alcoholic who once weighed 280lbs. So here goes, it sounds like you might have a problem with drugs and alcohol and I just wanted to let you know if you are struggling at all you can go to an AA meeting or NA meeting in your area to find out more. If I have offended you i want to apologize. What you wrote just really struck me as something I would have written several years ago. Besides the meetings you could feel free to write me. I have been in recovery for the last four years and I have never been so happy in my whole life. Anyway I hope all is well with you and your journey.