That must have been very cathartic for you.  Myself, I had all sorts of very traumatic things happen in my childhood, too and did not confront my mother until i was in my mid-30s.  I don't want to go into details out of respect for my mom.  She did the best she could and I simply had to forgive and move on.  One question, have you thought about a DNA test to verify things?  I was not totally shocked when I read your story, because so many people go through some really tough things and we hear far more about it now than we used to, so remember you are certainly not alone.  I said wow because it took a lot of guts to write your blog.  I wish you the very best in working through all this so that you can laugh and smile and be as carefree as possible.  I am not sure if you will be able to incorporate all of your family into your healing and develop great relationships, because I am not an expert.  I have healed some relationships in my life and just let some others go, just keeping a stiff upper lip when I have to interact.  Good luck, it appears you have taken the first step in helping yourself to heal.  I know of 5 websites that may be of help to you.  I have no affiliation and they are not MLMs and I have tried 4 of them with success.

1.  www.joycemeyer.org

Suffering sexual abuse as a child and the pain of an emotionally abusive first marriage, Joyce discovered the freedom to live victoriously by applying God's Word to her life and in turn desires to help others do the same. From her battle with breast cancer to the struggles of everyday life, she speaks openly and practically about her experiences so others can apply what she has learned to their lives.  ....  Time magazine selected her as one of the most influential evangelical leaders in America.  ....  She believes and teaches that regardless of a person's background or past mistakes, God has a place for them and can help them on their path to enjoying everyday life.  Joyce and her husband, Dave, have been married for over forty years, and they are the parents of four grown children. Dave and Joyce Meyer make their home in St. Louis, Missouri.  http://joycemeyer.org/AboutUs/AboutJoyce/

2.  www.drphil.com

Dr. Phil’s success stems from his “get real” approach to helping his guests solve their problems, stripping through their emotional clutter, getting down to the bare bones of their issues and giving them the challenge they need to move ahead. Dr. Phil champions those who suffer from such silent epidemics as domestic violence, child abuse, depression, racism, substance abuse and other health issues that are prevalent in society, but go largely undiscussed by their victims.  ....  The [Dr. Phil] foundation is another tool in Dr. Phil's arsenal to fight what he calls the "silent epidemics" in America, those problems that cripple our society in subtle but undeniable ways. ....  Dr. Phil lives in Los Angeles with Robin.  The couple have been married for 30 years and have two sons: Jordan, their younger son, and Jay.
http://drphil.com/shows/page/bio/

3.

That's right - all of these self-help tapes were sold on national TV helping millions of self-caring people improve their lives.  These tapes were originally sold for $35 dollars each and now through this special Internet offer you can save up to 50% off on your selections. "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of CHOICE" http://www.joeland.com/ http://www.southwestsubliminal.com/ This page lists all the tapes/CDs available.  Look them over all the way to the one at the bottom and see if there are any that would help you:  http://www.southwestsubliminal.com/southwest_subliminal_faqs.htm#bar12 He's been called 'America's greatest salesman' by Morley Safer and profiled by Newsweek and The Wall Street Journal. Joe Land overcame his beginnings as a grammar school dropout to become a self-made millionaire. But it wasn't until he retired that he discovered 'Real Success.' Now he helps everyone discover the keys to fulfillment and happiness.  http://www.joeland.com/newbook.htm I have used the weight loss tapes years ago and they work extremely well.  Joe Land says the one that gets results the quickest of all his tapes/CDs is the stopping procrastination one.  And, actually, I need to order that one, been putting it off for years, and that is no joke!  Joe Land actually quit selling his tapes at one point, just didn't need the income, but public demand brought made him bring them back and he also lowered the price a lot.

4.

Light Your Own Fire Audio Program Learn the secrets of feeling good about yourself. Improve your self-confidence and enjoy a new zest for life. Once you light your own fire, it will be easy to light someone else's. More Info and Free Samples http://www.lightyourfire.com/products_pre2.cfm Dr Ellen Kreidman is a relationship expert, but she is very knowledgeable in all aspects of human relationships http://www.lightyourfire.com/ ADVICE COLUMN - Dr. Ellen has developed a FREE Weekly Advice Column which presently goes out to 10,000 loyal subscribers. Each week she selects one of the hundreds of questions that she receives and answers it in detail. As her subscribers read about other people's problems and the advice given, they gain valuable insight into their own life. Through humor and personal experiences, she is able to captivate and relate to any type of audience, the dynamics of building a solid foundation for a more rewarding life.  She has been happily married for 36 years and has three grown children and four grandchildren.

Tony Robbins Get the Edge!

Get the Edge by Anthony Robbins

As Seen on TV! - Complete Package! Transform Your Life in 7 Days! Build Unstoppable Momentum and Lasting Results In his powerful program Get The Edge®, Tony - Anthony Robbins delivers the best of 25 years research in personal development. Tony Robbins gives you tested and proven strategies that can help virtually anyone achieve anything they desire, while experience amazing levels of personal fulfillment in the process. Click the blue link to find out more about Get the Edge by Tony Robbins

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