AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT
>
> 2006
>
>>
>> WASHINGTON , DC (- Congress is considering
>
> sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for
> many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act
> (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by
> advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any
> real skills or ambition.
>
>>
>> "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the
>
> competence and drive necessary to carve out a
> meaningful role for themselves in society,"
>
>> said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and
>
> allow People of
>
>> Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
>
> legislation,
>
>> employers will no longer be able to grant special
>
> favors to a small
>
>> group of workers, simply because they do a better
>
> job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
>
>>
>> The President pointed to the success of the US Postal
>
> Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
> opportunity without regard to
>
>> performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal
>
> employees lack job
>
>> skills, making this agency the single largest US
>
> employer of Persons of Inability.
>
>>
>> Private sector industries with good records of
>
> nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail
> sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home
> improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has
> a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
>
>>
>> Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than
>
> 25 million "middle man" positions will be created,
> with important-sounding titles but little real
> responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
> purpose and performance.
>
>>
>> Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions
>
> will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even
> the most unremarkable employees. The legislation
> provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
> maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability
> in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small
> and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless
> worker for every two talented hires.
>
>>
>> Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to
>
> make it more
>
>> difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled,
>
> banning discriminatory
>
>> interview questions such as "Do you have any goals
>
> for the future?" or
>
>> "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to
>
> this job?"
>
>>
>> "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up
>
> with people who have something going for them," said
> Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut
> twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
>
>> lack of notable job skills. "This new law should
>
> really help people like
>
>> me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and
>
> millions of other
>
>> untalented citizens can finally see a light at the
>
> end of the tunnel.
>
>>
>> Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as
>
> lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen,
> regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
> space to take up in this great nation no matter how
> useless they may be."
>
>
>
>
Quick Reply
To: Jim Kirkwood
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (That's for
> us!)
>
>> Date: Wed, 19 Jul 2006 19:46:49 -0400
>>
>>
>>
>> AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT
>
> 2006
>
>>
>> WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - Congress is considering
>
> sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for
> many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act
> (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by
> advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any
> real skills or ambition.
>
>>
>> "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the
>
> competence and drive necessary to carve out a
> meaningful role for themselves in society,"
>
>> said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and
>
> allow People of
>
>> Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this
>
> legislation,
>
>> employers will no longer be able to grant special
>
> favors to a small
>
>> group of workers, simply because they do a better
>
> job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
>
>>
>> The President pointed to the success of the US Postal
>
> Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing
> opportunity without regard to
>
>> performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal
>
> employees lack job
>
>> skills, making this agency the single largest US
>
> employer of Persons of Inability.
>
>>
>> Private sector industries with good records of
>
> nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail
> sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home
> improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has
> a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
>
>>
>> Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than
>
> 25 million "middle man" positions will be created,
> with important-sounding titles but little real
> responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of
> purpose and performance.
>
>>
>> Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions
>
> will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even
> the most unremarkable employees. The legislation
> provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
> maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability
> in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small
> and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless
> worker for every two talented hires.
>
>>
>> Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to
>
> make it more
>
>> difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled,
>
> banning discriminatory
>
>> interview questions such as "Do you have any goals
>
> for the future?" or
>
>> "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to
>
> this job?"
>
>>
>> "As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up
>
> with people who have something going for them," said
> Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut
> twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her
>
>> lack of notable job skills. "This new law should
>
> really help people like
me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and
millions of other
untalented citizens can finally see a light at the
end of the tunnel.
>
>>
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, (The Swimmer) "It is our duty as
lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen,
regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of
space to take up in this great nation no matter how
useless they may be."
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