- Me and Dialysis by LightLizard
18 y
4,884 5 Messages Shown
Blog: LightLizard's Lair
Life on dialysis is not quite as depressing as some may assume.
For now, I must go to the hospital 3 times a week for 4 hours at a time. This is the procedure known as 'hemo-dialysis'- which is a process of hooking up to 2 tubes that are surgically imbedded into my jugular vein, into my heart. My blood is sucked out through one tube, one cup at a time, into the dialysis machine filter, cleaned, and pushed back in through the other tube in my throat. This process is repeated 6 times in 4 hours and will be increased to 8 times per 4 hours in the coming weeks. After 3 months of this procedure, I will be trained in home dialysis, which does not use blood-cleansing, but uses 'dialysis fluid' to flood my abdomen and use my stomach lining as a filter to cleanse my organs. This is called 'Peritoneal Dialysis' and I will be able to do it myself, in my own home. I must have a permanent catheter inserted in my belly for this, and the procedure must be performed 5 times daily. Each time takes 20 to 25 minutes and I figure that gives me plenty of time between sessions to teach tai chi and qigong. I'm looking forward to getting my life back through this process.
Years ago, I had a lucid dream in which I asked a guide 'How may I help the sorrowed?' He answered; 'You have to go to the other side.'
Well, I think and feel that I have done that. It's time to start helping the sorrowed....
When the kidneys fail, if one is fortunate they will be able to continue a reasonable quality of life through the miracle of dialysis.
When I was told that I had two choices; to begin dialysis or prepare to meet my maker, it didn't take me long to decide.
I considered the circle of loved ones around me and chose.
During one of my visits to the renal ward, last year, I noted how those patients on dialysis were in extremely poor condition.
Most of them were bed-ridden and needed to be wheeled to dialysis and back to their rooms.
So, when my doctor informed me that I was in need of the treatment I a*sumed that he was insinuating that I would soon be in that debilitated and frail condition.
Luckily, I was wrong.
Many do need to remain in hospital to receive the treatment of dialysis. But quite a few of us are in healthy enough condition that we can attend one of the community units, outside of the hospital, for our treatments. I feel very fortunate to be one of those.
The treatment itself is quite a wonder of modern technology. A veritable miracle!
Through a (temporary) catheter in my throat that feeds my jugular vein, there protrude two tubes that are hooked up to the dialysis machine.
One tube allows my blood to be drawn out, through the machine into a filter that acts as an artificial kidney. The other tube sends the blood back into my body, after it has been cleansed and excess fluid has been removed.
The treatments are four hours long, three days a week, and the blood is actually cleansed up to eight times per session, or 'run', as it is called.
I recline on a type of 'lazy-boy' chair and above me, suspended from the ceiling, is a television that I can watch (with earphones) to pa*s the time, or I can choose to read, as well.
The treatment is relatively pain-free and so sometimes, I take a nap.
Before each 'run' my weight is taken so that the attending nurse can estimate how much fluid I need to have removed and what my 'dry weight' should be.
This changes from time to time, so it can be quite a 'balancing act' that demands accuracy in order to prevent painful muscle cramps during and after the treatments.
Overall, I would say it is an very interesting and quite a beautiful process.
I never did think I would ever feel this good again!
Overall, I would rather have my kidneys functioning normally, of course. It certainly is no picnic I'm on now. But, it is a lot better than I had anticipated and
I do have more of a normal life now, even though my days do revolve around the treatments.
Also, I don't quite have the energy or strength to return to teaching, or any kind of regular 'work'- for that matter.
I suppose that the biggest obstacle is the psychological one. Our culture teaches us that one must be 'useful' to society to be worthy, and so it is a challenge, sometimes, finding purpose and motivation.
Old programming dies hard, it seems, no matter how spiritual or 'rebellious' we may be.
When one begins dialysis, in Canada, at least, you are automatically put on a list to receive a ('cadaver') kidney transplant. The waiting list is five to ten years long and many die while waiting.
Fortunately, due to the improvements in the technology of dialysis, one can pretty much rely on dialysis and live a fairly long life, if one is careful with diet and medications.
Also, one can receive a kidney from a living donor if the dna match is close enough.
I have chosen to stay with dialysis, even though both of my younger daughters have offered me one of their kidneys.
I have lived 57 years and have qualms about taking a kidney from anyone. I know, as they say, one can live a good life with one kidney. But, what happens if the one kidney the donor has left runs into trouble, later in life? That would be a burden I could not bear!
Also, there is a rejection rate with transplants that I am uncomfortable with, not to mention the side-effects of the anti-rejection drugs that one must take, no matter how good of a 'match' the donated kidney.
Of course, it's not all peaches and cream, dialysis.
There's the inconvienience of having to attend the dialysis unit three times a week, for four-plus hours at a time.
There's an almost constant itch that often keeps one from sleeping soundly.
A lack of energy and purpose can be a psychological challenge, as well.
The pain of cramping of the legs and hands is not something that one could take pleasure in.
One must be very careful with diet.
Sodium, pota*sium and phosphorous should be avoided,
as much as possible.
Of course, I am referring to hemo-dialysis.
Peritoneal dialysis is another story, so I'm told.
In the beginning of dialysis, one is fitted with what is called a 'perm-cath.' It is a catheter that is inserted into the jugular vein and is an emergency measure, intended to facilitate the need for immediate dialysis.
After a few months, one has to make the choice of what form of dialysis to choose, for the long term.
These choices are dependant on several factors.
Degree of overall health, life-style, recreational preferences, age and the like.
One can decide to continue hemo-dialysis through the public, community units or, if necessary, in the hospital units.
In this case, one is fitted with either a 'fitula' or a 'graft' -dependant on vein and artery availability. A fistula is created by a surgeon and entails joining a vein to an already existing artery in the arm, to create a larger access point for the two needles that are inserted into the point(s) for the treatment.
A graft is also created by a surgeon and is advised when one's veins are not productive enough to make a fistula. The graft is used in the same manner as a fistula, that is, with the insertion of needles attached to tubes that connect to the dialysis machine.
Peritoneal dialysis consists of using dialysis fluid to flood the abdominal cavity, four times a day, for 20 to 25 minutes a session. The stomach lining acts as a filter for one's blood and the fluid is drained, removing toxins.
This procedure is performed through a (surgically implanted) tube, (catheter) in the stomach.
Most people who choose peritoneal dialysis are able to perform the procedure by themselves, (after training) in the privacy of their own homes, in the office, or just about anywhere they choose.
So, peritoneal dialysis offers one more freedom of life-style, and it is said, more energy and dietary choices, than any other method. Probably because it is performed daily, as opposed to thrice weekly.
Also, with peritoneal dialysis, one is given the option of using a machine (about the size of a suitccase)that they can 'hook up' to at night, while sleeping.
This supplements or can replace the need for the four sessions done through the daytime hours.
At the present, I am waiting on the surgery to get the stomach tube implanted so that I can begin peritoneal dialysis.
I have been advised by my nephrologist that it is a good choice for me.
LOVE
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LightLizard
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- Awww! Love to you too! by babsbiltmore
18 y
1,504
I really admire your attitude and you acceptance and allowing your health to be what it is and still love through the illness.
Truly, I am in awe...of such beautious beahvior
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babsbiltmore
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- hello! by EllaShinesBrightly
17 y
1,933
Hi lizard of light
i just started reading your posts right now
i never read them before
but i think you are lucky because the machine is available and helps to keep you alive
but i also agree with you that it can't be all 'peaches and cream' either especially since it is 4 hours a day
3 days a week
that is a LOT
i guess attitude really IS everything
i guess the challenge too is to renew that attitude and also to be honest
you must be a great dad for both your daughters to volunteer giving you their kidney
they must care about you a lot
also that is so thoughtful of you how you thought about their well being as well
you are a good person
i only wish that you didn't have to go through this but as long as you are going through this, maybe it is another opportunity to focus on your lucid dreaming skills
i read your post on lucid dreaming and i wrote down some of the advice
i've been interested in it for a long time
but... i end up falling asleep . i think it is really helpful though to be able to
see into ones own soul through the dream state because it is more pure
and if i were to be in a situation where i am reclining for 4 hours, that is what i would try to do.. to hone those skills
i probably wouldn't watch tv. .. mayyyyybe i might read a book
well i shouldn't talk about myself since this is your post but i thought that it was good of you to post this
i wasn't really aware of what dialysis was all about at least not in that much detail
i didn't really know what it entailed
now i do
i think its important for people to know so that people can have an understanding of what is going on and everyone can all sort of understand each other when they say certain words like 'chemotherapY' or "dialysis"
it unites people and brings them closer when they have an understanding
i appreciate that
i had a friend who had to undergo dialysis because he had what is called "Kleinfelter's" . it is a genetic disorder and it makes the limbs very elongated ( that is just the symptom) but he mentioned he also had to go in for dialysis
at the time, it didn't really register what that meant.
i knew that a machine was involved and it had to do with the kidneys but beyond that i really had no idea
i also didn't realize how much trouble that would involve.. with all the driving to and from...
so i'm glad i read your post so that next time someone says they are getting dialysis i will know what they mean and have a greater appreciation of what they are going through
thanks for this lizard of light
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EllaShinesBrightly
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- Thanks you, Ella! by LightLizard
17 y
1,959
Thank you for your very kind words Ella. You DO shine brightly!
I have 'graduated' in my dialysis, somewhat. I have been given a machine that allows me to do it at home now, while I am sleeping at night, so it leaves my whole day free and actually does a very good job of cleaning the toxins from my blood, so it also has the benefit of leaving my days free!
Don't be hard on yourself for watching TV, the mute button comes in handy, I find. ;)
Yes, there are many conditions that force one onto dialysis. My main problem was high blood pressure, but usually, people need the treatment who battle with diabetes.
Do take care of your kidneys, and don't be afraid to get checked out for problems with them, it's worth the trouble, believe me!
love and light to you and yours!
~LL~
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LightLizard
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