Oh Dear Ren!
You sound burnt out. How long have you been a nurse?
I'm just starting Nursing School and I'm 56 and it's shocking how mean and nasty some nurses can be! You sound very kind and sensitive,as I am. It's sad that they chose a caring field when they don't care, but that's why we need to be strong nurses, and pick up the slack. It's hard to keep positive, work harder, and stick to what's in the patients best interest, but it can be done, and after you do it you give yourself kudos... and have peace of mind.
You did all you can do, so let the rest go. Everyone is enjoying their drama.
That may not be the place where you belong. Where I'm at there are 34 Wards to work and they're all a little different, so we can move around until we find a good fit.
I can share some stories with you about nursing because I worked with them for 12 years as a psychiatric technician (their inferior) in a forensic (of the court system-which means all the patients are felons) state mental hospital, and I do most of their work for them. They have a lot more paperwork, which keeps them on the computer all day, and I'm left to do all the patient care. I don't mind. I like all of it.
I couldn't believe how many doctors couldn't write an order to save their life! How did they get licensed???
I was burnt out 5 years ago but I got over it after I figured out everyone is enjoying their drama (we all chose these lives) and it's easier for me not to get so emotional. I put on 20 pounds in the last 5 years that I'm still deciding when and how I'm going to work it off. I commend you for going raw. Are you doing it little by little, or all at once?
I lost weight hiking 20 minutes a day 10 years ago, and my daughter just lost 20 pounds hiking and riding a bike, but still eating everything she likes-just less of it. You'll lose weight if you ride to work every day. It would be nice if you could move to a friendlier ward, but as everything changes so often, even if you stay still, everything will change around you, so no matter what happens-be at peace.
What is is.
Peaceful thoughts.
Gina
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