- Keep falling, how do I just stop this? by #94544
14 y
1,832 2 Messages Shown
Blog: Extreme Change: Raw Food - 3 month challenge.
This is sheer madness. How to just stop? How to just commit to myself, my well-being, my life?
Feelings are just thrashing me around like they are outside of me and that I do not have possession of them.
I will not give up. I am sick of myself - if I give up on myself - then what? "Moderation"? Love that. How do I change a life-long practice through surrender, determination, planning, self-will and action when in one split second I say "it doesn't matter" or "I don't matter" or "what's the use anyhow"?
When my son was here, I did it all for him. When I was married, I did it for him.
How do I do it for me?
I will not give up. I will not give up. I need to be accountable but to who? Me? I have tried to kill myself repeatedly figuratively and literally. My family watches me die and they say 'quit the drama', 'buck up', 'can't make it', 'just think positive'.
f***. I have got to do this. I have got to master ME.
I am not giving up.
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- Re: Keep falling, how do I just stop this? by LittleWhiteDove
14 y
1,872
Hey #94544,
Sorry to burst into your blog like this, but I could not help overreading... ;)
Wow, girlfriend/dude - be kind to yourself.
Go out tomorrow and do something you enjoy. A walk in a beautiful garden or by the sea, or maybe go to an art gallery - something that will take you away from yourself for a while.
Christ reckoned we should love ourselves just as we love others. If you are a Christian or not, I think it to be pretty balanced advice. LOVE YOURSELF. But not more...or less.. than you can love anybody else.
Keep well,
LittleWhiteDove
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LittleWhiteDove
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