The Ego's Last Attack

Rabindranath Tagore

One of the greatest poets of India, Rabindranath Tagore, has written a poem, not only a poem; it is based on a real incident, "Beloved of My Heart." In essence, the poem means this:

One day in a small village in Bengal an ascetic woman from the neighborhood came to see me....

... She had the name of Sarvakhipi, given to her by the village people, the meaning of which is "the woman who is mad about all things".... not only in one thing is she mad, but in all things she is mad - absolutely mad.

... She fixed her starlike eyes upon my face and startled me with the question: "When are you coming to meet me underneath the trees?"    Evidently she pitied me, who lived, according to her, imprisoned behind walls, banished away from the great meeting place of the all, where she had her dwelling.

Just at that moment, my gardener came with his basket, and when the woman understood that the flowers in the vase on my table were going to be thrown away to make place for the fresh ones, she looked pained and said to me, "You are always engaged in reading and writing. You do not see." Then she took the discarded flowers in her palms, kissed them, and touched them with her forehead, and reverently murmured to herself, "Beloved of my heart."

I felt that this woman, in her direct vision of the infinite personality in the heart of all things, truly represented the spirit of the East.

Love is the spirit of the East. Love is the spirit of man. Love is the spirit of God. Love is the only richness there is, the only happiness there is.

Now, if you are attached to things, you cannot be a lover. Only a nonattached man can raise himself towards that sky which we call love. There is much misunderstanding about it.

People who leave the world - denounce it - and become detached almost simultaneously become loveless also; then something has gone wrong. Because love is the criterion, the very test, the touchstone. If your nonattachment to the world makes you loveless, something has gone sour. Your nonattachment is not true, authentic, real. It is pseudo. Because you are afraid of love, that shows you are afraid of being attached, so you avoid all situations where love can flower - because you are afraid deep down that if love flowers you will become attached again.

That's why your so-called mahatmas are afraid of love so much. They will not stay in one place for more than three days. Why so much fear? Because if you remain in one place for many more days, you will start feeling love for people. Somebody will come every day to massage your feet, and you will start feeling love for him. Somebody will bring food for you every day, and you will start feeling love for her. A certain affection will arise, and the fear of being attached again: move before you become attached.

These so-called nonattached people are simply afraid people. They live in deep panic. They can never touch the real core of life, because it is always touched by love.

Remember, if your nonattachment to things is true, has come out of understanding, has grown out of awareness, you will become more loving. Because the same energy that was involved in attachment will be released. Where will it go? You will have more energy at your disposal. Attachment is not love. It is an ego trip - to possess, to dominate, to manipulate. It is violence; it is not love. When this energy is relieved, suddenly you have much more energy with which to love. A really nonattached person is full of love, and always and always he has more and more to give, and always he goes on finding new sources of love. His source is infinite.

"By being nonattached TO EVEN THESE POWERS...." And the ultimate nonattachment comes when you have attained some miracles, siddhis, powers, when you can do things - things which are miraculous, things which are unbelievable. If you become attached to them, sooner or later you will be back in the world again. Beware. It is the ego's last attack on you; don't be caught. The ego is throwing its last net on you.

"By being nonattached to even these powers, the seed of bondage is destroyed."  The seed of bondage is attachment. And the seed of liberation is love. And how alike they look. They are diametrically opposite: attachment is lovelessness; love is always nonattached.

Where is the difference?

You love a woman or a man and you feel attached. Why do you feel attached?

Attachment means that tomorrow also you would like to have this woman with you, that's all. Tomorrow and again the day after tomorrow you would like to have this woman in your possession. That simply shows you have not been able to love today; otherwise the tomorrow never enters. Who bothers about tomorrow? Who knows about tomorrow?

Tomorrow never comes. It enters only into the mind who has not been living today. You have not loved this woman today, so you are waiting for tomorrow to come so that you can love. Your love is incomplete, unfinished. For that unfinished love attachment arises.

Then it is natural, logical. You are painting and the painting is incomplete; you would like to have the canvas tomorrow also, to complete it. There is a very deep law in life: it wants to complete everything. The bud wants to flower; the seed wants to become a sprout.

Everything is moving towards completion, so whatsoever you leave incomplete becomes a desire in the mind and says, "Possess this woman. You have not loved yet; you have not yet traveled through her being through and through. Still much unknown territory remains in her. Still much potentiality which has not been actualized is there - many songs of being and many dances to be danced." Attachment arises. Tomorrow is needed, the day after tomorrow is needed, future is needed. And if you are really incapable of living in the present, then a future life is also needed, and people go on promising each other, "We will remain spouses in the future life also."

That simply shows these people have become absolutely incapable of living. Otherwise this day is enough unto itself. This moment, if you complete your love, if you have loved with your full heart - totally, surrendered, dissolved into it; you have not been holding anything back - then the idea of tomorrow never arises. It is impossible for the idea of tomorrow to arise. It always comes when something is unfulfilled; then you hanker for the future. If you have loved your woman today and death comes, you will accept it. Or, if the woman falls in love with somebody else, you will say a goodbye - sad, but not miserable. And sadness has a beauty, and misery is ugly. Sad, not because of attachment; sad because your love is still there arising in you and the person is going away who could have understood it. Sad but fulfilled. There is no complaint, no grudge.

But if you have loved totally this never happens, that the woman can go or the man can go. If you have loved totally it is impossible, because that total love satisfies so deeply.

One cannot even think of some other. It is impossible to dream of the other. The dream arises only because of dissatisfaction with this one. You think of other women because it has not been a satisfactory relationship with your own woman. You think of other men because the mind wants to pour itself and this has not happened in this relationship. So the mind goes on wandering all over the place. Any woman that passes by the road, you start feeling love for her, or for men.

And if your love has become frustrated so much that you cannot imagine now that it is possible to love any human being, you start loving dogs and cats. Seems to be less complicated - Alok should make a note of it. Seems to be less complicated.

Loving a dog is very simple... Loving a cat a little more difficult. That's why men call women "cats." A cat is less predictable than the dog, more clever than the dog - has her own mind. You can kick the dog and he will come again; you kick the cat, she will not come again. Finished. Always ready for the divorce.

People fall in love with animals. How unfortunate. I am not saying don't love animals; I am saying don't make them substitutes for human beings. You should love human beings so deeply that your love starts overflowing and it reaches to animals also. Then it is totally different. Then it reaches to the trees also. Then it is totally different. To the rocks also, because you go on overflowing. An infinite source of love, nobody can contain your love. It goes on overflowing, overflowing, overflowing. Then it reaches to animals; then it has a totally different quality to it.

But the doors with humans are closed and you have to find someone to love, otherwise you feel very much frustrated, a relationship is needed; then you relate with dogs, cats.

Even that too proves sometimes to be unsatisfactory, because dogs are people, cats are people - they also have their own ideologies, their own ideas, and they want to do their thing. No dog is there to fulfill your desires. You may be thinking while you are taking a dog for a walk that you have tamed the dog, that you possess the dog, because you have never asked the dog what he thinks. He thinks he possesses you, and he has tamed this man.

I have heard dogs talking to each other.

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