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Excess Stress - how to deal with it.
(Path of my Life)
Relaxing exersizes are valuable in these stressfull times.
Date: 1/31/2009 12:50:32 AM ( 15 y ago)
There is no doubt that we are going through some rough times now, and if we project the potential outcomes of those problems into the future we multiply the anxiety we feel at this time - we are adding to the stress we are allready in.
Also, if we have issues in our past that cause us anxiety, we will be feeling more stress in THIS moment than there really is in this moment.
So the past and the future actually hold much more stressfull thoughts than the present does. This is a truly human quality to be able to do that; we are the only creature that can do that [so far as we can tell, no animal does it].
Without getting into too much "new age theory", I just want to remind readers here that it makes a LOT of sense to take the time to get in touch with NOW, and be conscious of the fact that there is less to be stressed about in this moment that we usually realise. It might feel like there is some great weight on your chest, but there isn't, not in this moment. This moment has a lot less to be worried about than we think there is... nothing is actually wrong in this moment, as long as you are breathing - that is the only thing we HAVE to do in this moment.
In doing this exersize, it is NOT some kind of "enlightenment" or "awakening", but just a simple acknowledgment that we are okay in the here and now. As many have found out, there can be great enlightenment in learning how to meditate, but delving into that too deeply here, for this simple exersize, will distract most of us from learning how to simply get into the present moment a few times a day as a way to release excess stress [unneccessary stress, really].
This is something we can do several times a day even when we are busy, like when we are riding the bus, taking the elevator, waiting in line, etc. - all things that might otherwise ADD stress to our day.
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Here are the basic steps for this exersize:
1] take a breath in slowly, and pay attention to how it feels as the air comes into your lungs and how it feels as it goes out of your lungs.
2] focus your attention on things that are happening now in your body, such as the pressure on your feet if you are standing still [like when waiting for a bus, etc.] Notice what is producing the most sensation in your body - wind on your face? Rock in your shoe? Loud sounds? Bright lights? Busy activity all around you? Or is it all dark and quiet? Just take stock for a second.
3] then, shift your attention to the tension spots in your body - the jaw is one that is almost allways tight, as are the shoulders, and the hands and wrists. Let them "hang down", let gravity pull at them. Your facial expression will change, but people will see it for what it is - one of a relaxed person, and that might have the effect of relaxing them. In fact, this is one of those things that if you do it, it is contageous and others will benefit, just as when you are stressed others will feel it and be more stressed. Do some good today - relax in public!! Let those tense spots relax, just try to stop clenching those muscles.
Thats enough, believe it or not. Just do those things, and in doing so you will have taken your mind off of the future and past stressors, and restored your-self to a relaxed state. There is a more relaxed state you can achieve, but at least this is a start, and these steps are allways the first steps to the total relaxation techniques of meditation practise. You have put yourself into the present moment.
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To "do more", we must delve into the workings of our busy human mind. Notice that it is "allways on", unless we make an effort to bring it down a notch. This is done by first accepting the fact that we are likely thinking of "things" beyond our body and beyond the present moment. Things like "where are the kids"? [they are safe, don't drive yourself nuts about it!] ; and "what bills will I pay and which one will I have to ignore this month?" [you cannot do anything about that now, leave it for when you get home]. Etc....
From there, the hard work starts. Most people do find this next part difficult, but equally rewarding:
* every time you have a thought about anything else, simply return to that focus you had about your BREATHING.
This shift, to "stuff" and back to your breathing, might take place every few seconds, but don't give up, and don't think that you are failing to get it, this is normal. I said it was hard - but don't forget the reward, and really, what is the point, what usefullness is there in allways thinking about "stuff", about going over and over the same problems, about wondering what to have for supper tonight or what to say to the doctor or the boss or the client or the neighbor when you meet with them?
Forgetaboutit! But it doesn't just happen, we have to turn our attention to things that are happening in the present moment in order to stop that flow of thoughts.
It really helps to COUNT WHILE BREATHING... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, on the inbreath, then [slowly] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 on the outbreath. That is not hard, it is just hard to keep doing it because it is so easy. But where does our mind go if we stop focusing here? - it goes to those useless and stressfull thoughts. This only takes a minute. Learn it here and practise it and use it throughout the day for a minute, or 10 minutes, at a time as the opportunities arise.
The opportunities arise many times during the day, as I mentioned above. I want to remind you though, because you can turn stressfull minutes into relaxing minutes.
Aside from this exersize, there ARE other activities that get us focused on the present moment, and they are also very good for us, and they do relax us. Mostly, in this day and age, these activities are recreational. Skiing, for example, puts us into a frame of mind where we are truly in the present moment, and in the immediate environment, and not somewhere else - if we drift in our attention, we fall down and crash!!
Walking is a great one, and we all have to walk each day. If a particular session of walking takes more than a few minutes, it is a perfect opportunity to get into the present moment and into your bodily awareness.
How to walk lessons? Sure, why not? Maybe the idea never crossed your mind. That shows how easily humans get into "not being aware of our body". This is an awareness exersize, and it will take your mind off your troubles for awhile.
Here we go:
Think of how your hips are moving - let them go in that little half-circle they do when we are relaxed... let your legs shoot out front of you and take long strides, then take shorter strides... let your arms flail, and then make them go into an exaggerated back-and-forth rhythmn. What I am suggesting is to try different gaits as you walk, and pay attention to how they feel. Maybe your "natural gait" has become sort of unnatural over the years, and it is time to change. Stop slouching, be very tall, walk upright with good posture - at least try it out and see how it feels - your low back pain might go away!!! Hold your head up. Don't be too self-conscious about how others might think about how you look, they are probably not paying any attention to you - are you judging others on their gait? - Ah HA! - notice that you only judge others when they are slouching... so don't slouch as you walk and nobody will judge you in a negative way. You look so proud and noble when you hold your head up!!
Feel your feet as they hit the sidewalk. Just notice.
If you are up to it, once you are walking tall and proud and with long strides, turn your attention to your breathing. Keep walking. Count to 5 on the inbreathe, and to 5 on the outbreath. Count faster if you are feeling short of breath, but also try to slow your breathing down by counting slower. Just paying attention is all I ask, that is all you need to to.
Thats it! You have managed to avoid that unnecessary anxiety that thinking of things that are in the future [near or far future], or in the past, and that has made you more relaxed. You can do this several times during the day, it is like re-setting the anxiety scale back. To get all the way to "zero anxiety" will take more time and you will need to be in a quiet place, and be very still, with stillness all around you, and it will take some practise. That is the meditational practise of course, and I highly recomend it - it is something I have been doing for 35 years and now I can get into a very relaxed state quite quickly, it almost happens just by starting to do it now, because my body and brain know the routine, they know I am going to wrestle them into submission.
"Walking meditation", or "riding the elevator meditation", or "sitting there looking so peacefull at your desk for 5 minutes after the lunch break meditations" are very usefull tools, and I hope you give it a try. These are stressfull times; it doesn't help anything to be focused on the most stressfull aspects of our lives all the time. The past and the future will drive us all nuts.
Breathe. In and out. Slowly. it is the only thing we HAVE to do right now. Notice the thoughts in your head, and gently dismiss them by relacing them with counting as you breathe. It is an ancient tool that the modern world needs now. Many of the most successfull people use it.
Have a good day!
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